I had to go to the dentist today. Though I do love to have my teeth cleaned, this appointment was for removing and replacing a filling. This meant shots and drilling and numbness for hours and fatigue. Thoughts filled my mind while in the chair and it occurred to me that I could occupy my mind with constructive things or worry about what was happening. So I breathed deeply and did my best to relax and think in present tense of those things that I would like to be happening in my life. I remembered that what we tell ourselves and others becomes our reality, so it is important to think about what we want rather than what we do not want. I knew that thoughts and words reverberate and change the energy around us inviting what we think and say to come to us. Though I could not say anything with my mouth wide open much less while the drill was working, I could think productively.

We say things to people all the time and what we say affects them. When we speak to our children, it is important to say those things we want to imprint on their minds and hearts. Here are some things that we can think and say that are important to impart. I want you. I love you. I'll take care of you. I'll be there for you. I love who you are. I appreciate your courage. I appreciate your creativity. I see you and hear you. You can trust your inner voice. I have confidence in you. You are special to me and I am proud of you. I give you permission to make mistakes. I give you permission to be the same as I am, or more than I am, or less than I am. I appreciate that you are unique and special.

If these words were not spoken to us and we find ourselves doubting and feeling insecure, we can say them to ourselves out loud every day to reinforce what our parents would have said had they known. When people around us do not meet our emotional needs, we can still take care of ourselves by providing the information our hearts and minds need. Each of us has a little person inside that may have missed out on nurturing. Just as we want to nurture our children, we also need to nurture ourselves. No matter what adversity we face, it is easier to manage when our self talk calms and reassures us allowing the system to relax and generate more creative thinking. Whether in the dentist chair or another hot seat, words of affirmation and assurance bring us to a better state of well-being. This allows our bodies to heal better, our relationships to work better, our jobs to be more pleasant, and our daily tasks more joyful. It all begins with the thoughts that in turn lead to feelings and then the right words come out of our mouths.

It is up to us to resonate our truth to others. Do we want that truth to be encouraging or discouraging, critical or affirming, hostile or enjoyable? It is in our power to make every moment one of potential and hope. Though I left the dentist chair with a little fatigue and a crooked smile, all is well because I chose to consciously observe my thinking and to create that which inspires me rather than dispirits me.

Pamela Simmons is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Relationship Coach. As a teacher, writer, seminar leader, and counselor, she values living authentically to integrate the information, resources, and interventions that serve people well.