Bribery can be a good thing. For one chocolate bar, my son or daughter will help me around the house. My son is 33 and my daughter is 27. For one twelve pack of pop, my son built an entire deck in my yard. For a box of thin mints, my daughter helped me plant my flower garden. Am I one resourceful grandma or not?

Granny on Insurance Companies. After paying premiums for many years, I turned in one small claim. The claim I turned in happens to be the only thing that is not covered. Go figure. My premium went up!

Granny on Daylight Savings: I don't like it. Old people don't like change so this irritates us twice a year. According to my survey, most people wish there was no time change. Go back to the way it was and leave it alone. By the time I change my wrist watch, the kitchen wall clock, stove clock, microwave clock, grandfather clock, alarm clock, living room clock, VCR clock, clock in car and wall clock in hall, I have spent four hours trying to save one hour of daylight. Ditto six months later.

The Perfect Mate: Over the years I've learned that at age twenty, a girl is looking for a guy who is tall, dark and handsome. At age forty, she wants someone who is gainfully employed. At age sixty, her only requirement is that he's breathing.

Granny Marge is the author of two humor books and the library director in a small town. She also has two childrens' books ready to publish. She has a regular column in the local paper, The West End News, called Excerpts from Granny's Journal.