Finding Your Authentic Swing

The movie, "The Legend of Bagger Vance," is a mythological story about World War I veteran Rannulph Junuh, played by Matt Damon, and his unlikely spiritual guide, Bagger Vance, played by Will Smith. In 1916 Savannah, Georgia, Junuh has the world at his fingertips as a top young golfer, in love with the beautiful and wealthy Adele (played by Charlize Theron). But, seeking glory on the battlefields of World War I, Junuh interrupts his golf career and enlists in the army. However, the ravages of war sink him into a depression, and he spurns Adele and everyone else when he finally returns home.

Fast forward to 1931 ~ Savannah has been devastated by the Depression, and the golf resort Adele's father built has no business. Faced with bankruptcy, she plans a golf tournament between the best golfers of the day ~ Bobby Jones and Walter Hagen ~ but the town cronies want someone to represent Savannah in the match.

At a town meeting, a ten-year-old boy who has idolized Junuh for years, suggests that his hero should play in the tournament. Only trouble is, the golden boy has lost his swing and doesn't seem too interested in finding it. He spends his nights playing cards and drinking, and his days sleeping off the previous evening. Junuh has lost more than his swing ~ he has lost his way.

Enter Bagger Vance, who appears out of nowhere, volunteering to be Junuh's caddy in the tournament. At the heart of the movie, Bagger tells Junuh, "Inside each and every one of us is our one true authentic swing. Something we was born with. Something that's ours and ours alone. Something that can't be learned. . . . Something that's got to be remembered."

I am struck by the notion of each of us having one true authentic swing, as Bagger puts it. Although I am not a golfer, the metaphor of a "swing" works for me in terms of finding our authentic self, our "calling," our special place in the world that no one else can fill at a particular time and place.

Finding our authentic swing can have several meanings ~ it can be as expansive as finding our "niche" in the world, finding that one thing we are meant to do in terms of vocation, or in terms of a once-in-a-lifetime achievement. It can mean doing something we can't help doing ~ the something that, no matter how much we might try to avoid, we absolutely HAVE to do. Or it may mean being true to oneself at a particular moment in time, and as such, we may not have only one authentic swing, but several to play through over a lifetime.

I am also compelled by the golf swing metaphor because, even in my limited experience with golf, it is obvious that those who have found theirs seem to execute it in a seemingly effortless manner. When a golfer is "in the groove," their swing looks natural, unforced, loose, and easy. It feels right, and even before a golfer strikes the ball they know they've hit a winner just by the feel of the swing. And when a golfer hasn't found his or swing, it feels and looks forced and awkward ~ and the golfer knows even before they've hit the ball that it will slice into the rough or the sand.

So how do we find our authentic swing, our true self? Well first of all I should clarify that I'm not sure we have only one authentic swing per lifetime. During our life journey we experience several incarnations of self as we travel, and thus may have an authentic swing for one time period that changes around the next bend in the road. So perhaps finding our authentic self is about maintaining our authenticity, and being true to ourselves at each particular moment in time.

But how do we know when we've "found it?" Well that probably depends on the person and the situation involved. In my experience, however, there are several key factors. One would be the "feel" of the swing - in other words, does it feel right, are we "in the groove," and do we know before we even hit the ball that it will land just where we want it to?

Another clue in my experience has been the inherent affirmation within myself, or from others, that what I am doing is the right thing at the right time. And the final clue, and the one I continue to be least comfortable with, involves the basic fact that more times than not, being true to my authentic self involves, at the very least, change, and at the very most, risk to the status quo of my journey thus far.

A great Sufi seer once noted: " What you must do for yourself ~ make sure you do it." The aspiration to become our authentic self and all we are meant to be is often spurred onward by the support of others who believe in us, or by burning bushes ~ but ultimately we are spurred by our own soul. Sometimes it takes a long time to hear the great chiming within. And even longer to stir up the courage to pay attention to it once we've heard it. Because often, when we find and follow through with our authentic swing, there is risk involved. And still, even in the face of the possible risk, there is a sense within us that we MUST do this thing.

It is said that before the great Hassidic leader, Zusia, died, he came to his followers, eyes were red with tears, face was pale with fear. "Zusia, what's the matter? You look frightened!"

He answered, "The other day, I had a vision. In it, I learned the question that the angels will one day ask me about my life."

The followers were puzzled. "Zusia, you are pious. You are scholarly and humble. You have helped so many of us. What question about your life could be so terrifying that you would be frightened to answer it?"

Zusia turned his gaze to heaven. "I have learned that the angels will not ask me, 'Why weren't you a Moses, leading your people out of slavery? And I have learned," Zusia sighed, "that the angels will not ask me, 'Why weren't you a Joshua, leading your people into the promised land?'"

One of his followers approached Zusia and placed his hands on Zusia's shoulders. Looking him in the eyes, the follower demanded, "But what will they ask you?"

"They will say to me, 'Zusia, why weren't you Zusia?'"

Susan Ryder is not a golfer, but she's working to find and improve her authentic swing. She's also an author on http://www.Writing.Com/ - which is a site for Creative Writing.