Bin Laden Releases Another Audiotape: Hideout Too Dark For Video
Apparently, unable to contain his enthusiasm for bumming out the relatively nice and unsuspecting folks who make up much of the Western World, the misinformed medievalist has released another drearily threatening audiotape. Since the combined political, military, and intelligence resources of the civilized world cannot locate the potato head, we suggest the audiotape be taken as an opportunity to arrest him.
Here's how. Somebody buys the resourceful recluse a video camera and battery-powered lights. Since he long delighted to display his narcissistic self and give voice to his lamentable disjunction with informed thought, we assume that either he is not currently in possession of a video camera or that he is hunkered down in a hideout that is too dark to shoot anything but firearms.
It cannot be that he is afraid a video will reveal his location, because he always has the option of hanging the same kind of chintzy curtain behind him that his original second in medieval misguidance, Aman al-Zawahiri, uses when he comes out of the cave long enough for his eyes to adjust to the light to make an inflammatory video, with, we