Dear -fish this- member,
It has come to our attention that your account information needs to be updated.
Please send us your social security number, your checking account number, a pint of Jack Daniels, and a large paper bag filled with twenty dollar bills. We are only doing this for your protection, and even though we have no intention of stealing your identity,because we have a hard enough time dealing with our own identitys we have now, we sure could use some extra spending money for our upcoming phish.... errrr.... FISHING excursions!
We know it would be nicer if we actually worked as hard to make an honest living, as we do to bilk.. errr help protect your account information, but what fun would that be?
We promise not to have have account information problems in the future, because we are the "Gods of account information problems" and can control these sort of things. Besides, we won't be able to monitor your account anymore, because we will be assisting Mr. Humongatus Batutti from Niger, who has been unable to find anyone lately that will help him out of the grave financial disaster his Pay Pal account has gotten him into.
If you don't update your account information you may not be able to read worthless drivel in the future, your bumper will fall off of your car,and fleas will infest your armpits.AND...we will put a heebie jeebie hex on you that only a safe harbor ebay email can clear up. O.K.- O.K.-- we will only suspend your account! That way we can send you another phony.... errrr.... follow up e-mail to protect your account. We will only temporarily spend the $20.00 bills you send us and will re-deposit two hundred bags of twenty dollar bills and some Papa John coupons into your bank account by---oh---let's say Thursday.
Please don't respond to this email- or blog letter for that matter- because we will be busy bouncing all over the internet phishing.... err bilking errr... updating other account info --and why would you want to have any dialogue about your terminated account anyway!!??
AND if you send us info now, we will send you a cheap knockoff Rolex that will impress some other phony, and also toss in a set of Ginsu carving knives!!
click here to update your account records.
The account dude at -fish this-
P.S. If none of this interests you, we have some hot stock market tips we will be glad to sell you...
user agreement blah blah,ebay,paypal,nigerian humonatus,Rolex, viagra,etrade, official looking mumbo jumbo, brought to you by the makers of pesty cola...
...Hard to believe- but every day people are still falling for those phony spams and e-mails that circulate the internet.A day is coming when the bilkers won't be able to hide anymore and we will be able to track the phony solicitations down. In the meantime--be careful out there on the information highway, and if you really want to part with your hard earned money I know this Prince in Pottsylvania who is having some trouble with his finances, and if you could just help him out.....
A.J. Klott is the author of the Fish wRap-a humorous book on fishing and the people and events that surround the fishing world. You can visit his site at http://www.twoguyswithflys.com