6 Ways to Better Dialogue
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6 Ways to Better Dialogue
By Jeff Heisler
Question: What's wrong with this segment?
"Hey John!" Sam shouted.
"Yeah, what?" John replied, puzzled.
"Look at this," Sam implored to John.
John replied, "Look at what?"
Answer: A lot. It needs some work in dialogue
mechanics.
So what are the rules for dialogue in fiction?
Let's go through a few points in no particular order.
1) Simple dialogue tags work best. The most
effective tag in fiction is "he said" or "she said." No
"he uttered," "he stated," "he implored," or anything
similar.
2) You don't need a dialogue tag on every line.
Here's some examples for illustration:
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"Hello sweetheart," he said.
"Hello honey," she said.
"How was your day?" he said.
"Fine, how was yours?" she said.
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Now- let's look at it again without so many
tags.
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"Hello Sweetheart," he said.
"Hello honey."
"How was your day?"
"Fine, how was yours?"
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Ahh- that's better. In the second example we
get the dialogue without being distracted by the tags.
3) You can also use to few tags. IF you have
long strings of dialogue, make sure you throw a tag in
now and then so the reader doesn't lose their pace. A
good way to do this is to throw some action in there
with the dialogue. For example, if you've had a long
exchange between the husband and wife in the eample
above you could throw in a line like this.
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She sat down at the kitchen table. "I went to
the bank today," she said.
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That exchange breaks the monotony of the simple
dialogue exchanges and places a touch of action, however
small, into the scene. It also serves to keep the
reader tuned to the right speaker. It's easy to get
lost in long lines of dialogue. This technique helps
readers keep their place.
4) Leave exposition out of dialogue.
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"Come on in the car," Frank said.
Sam hopped in.
Frank started down the road. "This car is
great," he said. "It has a 255 horsepower engine,
sunroof, and a great stero system."
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Let's try this instead.
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"Hop in," Frank said.
Sam hopped in and sank back into the passanger
seat.
Frank turned on the radio and opened the sunroof
before they started off down the road. The engine
roared and pushed Sam back in his seat. He smiled at
Frank. "Nice car."
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5) Compress dialogue that contains needless or
repetitive details.
For example, let's say a character who we'll
call John has just been told an amazing story by another
character named Mike. Now John needs to share that
story with Betty. Instead of repeating the dialague the
reader has already heard, just do something like this:
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"Wait till you hear this," John said. He told
Betty the whole story.
"Wow," said Betty.
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There, now you're ready to move on with the
story.
6) Use dialect sparingly. It's too taxing on
the reader's mind. If you have a character from Texas
with a thick southern accent, instead of this:
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"Y'all ain't see nothin' like dis here messa
trouble."
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Use this:
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Kip spoke in his thick Texas drawl, "You all ain't seen
nothing like this here mess of trouble."
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That's it. Use those rules and your dialogue will show
that professional style you've been looking for. Good
luck.
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Jeff Heisler is a freelance writer and editor of Write
Away.
Read more of Jeff's writing articles at
http://www.heislerink.com/writeaway.asp.
You may also write to Jeff at jheisler@heislerink.com
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About the Author
Jeff Heisler is a freelance writer and editor of Write
Away.
Read more of Jeff's writing articles at
http://www.heislerink.com/writeaway.asp.
You may also write to Jeff at jheisler@heislerink.com