During pregnancy most expectant fathers still do not comprehend the concept of fatherhood. When most men find out they will soon be a father they clearly understand that they are not prepared. This leads to the very normal feelings of inadequacy and fear toward the unknown, which mixes with the excitement of the coming birth of their child. This feeling of inadequacy is caused by this lack of knowledge and preparation. The idea that during pregnancy men can prepare for their new role as a father does not occur to them, or leads to the realization that they don't know how to prepare. Simply put, the average "father to be" does not understand what they can be doing, or should be doing during pregnancy.
There are things that any expectant father can do during the roughly 38 weeks his partner will be pregnant.
1. Learn as much as you can about pregnancy.
The best way to handle the unknown is to make it known. In advance of living through it, this means taking the time to explore the resources that are available from your doctor's office, medical establishment, books, as well as online resources like this website. For learning about pregnancy the best website for expectant fathers is called "The Funky Stork". This father recommends starting with the article called "Your Role as an Expectant Father" which can be found at URL: http://www.thefunkystork.com/articles/2/ In this article the author will echo many of the things you read here, but will also go into more detail about what you can expect each trimester and additional advice on what all expectant fathers should do. This father also recommends that every expectant father should read everything on the "The Funky Stork" website as soon as possible. This father agrees with the author that one can't wait until the last trimester (last thirteen weeks) of the mother's pregnancy to start this learning process because there is too much a man has to learn. However, if you reading this and you are already well into your pregnancy, it is not too late to learn. The more that you know about pregnancy, the easier the time remaining will become.
2. Determine the kind of father you want to be.
Becoming a father is a life changing event. Your time, your goals, your hopes and your dreams stop being your own. This may give you new insight into the behavior and concerns of your own parents. Take the time to consider what values and lessons you want to teach your new child. Talk to your partner in addition to spending some time alone reflecting on kind of parent you want to become.
3. Become and stay as involved as possible with your partner's pregnancy.
Go to your partner's doctor appointments and take prenatal classes with your partner. These are opportunities to learn about your partner's condition and are a good way to support your partner. One of your roles at the expectant father is to support your partner emotionally and physically throughout all stages of the pregnancy. As it turns out, taking prenatal classes with your partner allows you time to adjust to the fact that there really is a baby coming into your life. It also helps give you some idea what to expect when the baby does come.
4. Take a class on how to put a car seat into your car.
Find an organization that is offering classes on child car seat installation. It is best if you have the car seat with you when you take the class. Often they will help you with the first installation of the car seat to make certain it is installed correctly. My wife had to convince me to go to this class, but the class convinced me that she was right. Too many children are killed because their car seats are not properly installed. Make it your job to know how to get this done properly.
5. Sign up for "father boot camp".
In addition to attending prenatal classes with your partner, find and sign up for a "Father boot camp". Sometimes called "Daddy boot camp", this is a class for just fathers. This class introduces you to other fathers who have the same concerns you do as well as being a great source of information. You will hear from other dads what you can expect and the thing you need to prepare for both during pregnancy and the birth of your child. Check the web or talk to partner's doctors to find out if you have a "boot camp" for new fathers in your area.
Written by William E. Petersen, author of the e-zine called Daddy Resource and the website http://www.DaddyResource.com - A Practical Resource to Help Dads Grow. William is a father of two children, Angelina who is four and Carlos who is two. He lives with his wife and children in Texas.