Women who have attended my workshops often ask me this question: Have you ever thought about becoming a matchmaker? I have a client who would really, really like me to do this for her.
Well, the answer is yes, I've thought of it but no, I'm not terribly interested in doing it. There is a part of me that loves to connect people but matchmaking may not be the best use of my skills. I love to motivate groups, instruct, educate, coach and write. However, I thought about how women could be their own matchmaker.
What does it take? Observation, awareness, and recognizing opportunities when you see them.
For instance, let's say you are visiting an office on business. As you walk toward the conference room, you scan the offices. Lo and behold, you see an attractive man. Take note. Later, if you feel comfortable doing so, ask your business contact that you noticed someone and were curious - is the person available?
Bold? Yes. Effective? You betcha.
When you're an older woman, you realize that some of your friends and family may know you're looking (and if they don't - hop to it and let them know! Get as many "eyes and ears" out there for you!) but your friends and family aren't around you all the time. (And for some of us, that's a good thing.) By asking a business associate about another co-worker's social status, you have clearly sent the message that you are available and would like to meet someone special.
The bottom line is to be aware of the opportunities that already surround you, and not be afraid to ask.
Why are some women afraid? They may think they'll look desperate. I'll tell you a secret. Those who get what they want in life learn quickly the power of asking. If you wait until someone notices your need, you may go without having that need fulfilled for a long time.
I did this when I was over 35 and single. No, it wasn't easy. On the other hand, I figured what did I have to lose? It wasn't as though my calendar was crying mercy from the abundance of a busy social life. So, I asked.
"You know, I'm really interested in meeting someone special. Do you know anyone you could introduce me to? If not, could you keep an eye out for me? It's a bit challenging meeting men now and I appreciate the support you could give. Thanks. You're a dear!"
A good matchmaker keeps her eyes open for possible matches. She looks for potential within the criteria she has gathered about her client. Ask yourself some questions, such as:
Just about everyone understands, especially those who married after 35. Trust that there are people in your life who want to support you in this. And keep your eyes peeled for that cute man in cubicle #A-24. He just might be the love of your life.
Mary Rose Maguire, Dating Revolutionist! is a relationship coach, professional speaker, and freelance writer for single women over forty. She has conducted workshops on dating over forty, Internet dating, and communication skills for singles. Her unique Dynamic Dating Design approach has helped single women over forty create more opportunities to meet men while enjoying life. She has appeared as a guest on HealthyNet Radio Show, the "By For and About Women Radio Show", WTVN's