From Granny's Journal: Wisdom and Humor

Over the years I have learned many bits and pieces of wisdom and knowledge. I wish to share this valuable experience. 1. Don't eat cottage cheese or spinach for lunch unless you bring a toothbrush to work with you. The same goes for eating broccoli. 2. One advantage to old age is if you change your mind about giving an item to a relative and take it back, you are not an Indian giver; you are senile. "Forgive Granny. She is senile." If you forget something, you have "old timers disease." This can work against you, too. My daughter told me that I promised to watch her children one Saturday and I could not remember but didn't want to tell her that. Later, thinking back, I was sure that I didn't make that promise.

When children are little they think mom and dad know everything. Then when they become teenagers, they know everything and mom and dad don't know much. When the youngsters turn twenty, all of a sudden the parents get smart again. The offspring actually start being nice to you and hold conversations with you and acknowledge your existence. There is a reason. I just figured it out. It is not because they are no longer difficult teens. It is because you are the only one old enough to buy beer.

Puzzle: I water, fertilize and mow my lawn. It is brown and dead. Green grass is growing in my gravel driveway where we drive over it all the time. Maybe I should just park on my lawn and water my driveway.

Granny Marge has been writing all her life and just published her second humor book, Granny's Journal. She has a column in the local paper, The West End News, called "Excerpts from Granny's Journal." Her first book is "Have I Ever Told You How Much I Hate People? Written by Two Little Old Ladies With No Friends." Marge is the library director in a small town in the Northwest. She has five children and fourteen grandchildren. She belongs to the West End Misfits Writer's Group. She was born in Los Angeles in 1944 and went to school in Alhambra. when she grows up she wants to be....