The Floor is Lava

Don't step off the couch... the floor is lava.

Many of us joyfully remember this inexpensive and essentially pointless childhood game. But few of us are familiar with the legend behind The Floor Is Lava. Let's begin...

It all started in Lahaina Maui, Hawaii, in 1894. An active volcano on the edge of town erupted, causing a flow of molten lava to cruise through town. For decades the town had rejoiced thisnatural occurance, because it saved them loads of money on road paving. However, April 28th, 1894 would be one of the two or three days they weren't happy about the lava. Because this time, the lava wasn't good.

First the schools were evacuated, along with most stores and public places. Of course, however, all of the janitors and trash collectors still had to work, which really freaking pissed them off. All the children were now at home, with nothing to do. The scalding hot lava was pouring down the mountain, just about to hit Main Street (or as it's called in Hawaii, Mainolauo Streetana).

Now, it's important to remember that all of this was occuring before The Wiggles was on televison. In fact, nothing was on television. I know what you're thinking- "television wasn't even invented yet!" But, ha ha my friend, you are wrong. Television was in fact invented in 1894, but there was just nothing on. Kinda like Tuesday morning. Nothing on.

Well, as I'm sure you gathered already, the kids were home and Wiggles wasn't around yet and there was nothing on tv, so they had to figure out something to do. Then, when they least expected it, the lava crashed through the walls of their homes, burning everything in it's path. Ok well, I'm sure they expected it, considered they live at the freaking bottom of a volcano, but, you get the picture. As everyone knows, once lava comes through the wall of your house, you have to wait 16 hours for it to harden before you can walk on it.

That's where the fun starts.

You do the math: kids + a day home from school + 12,000 twinkies + hot lava all over the floor = the floor is lava. So there it is folks- that's where the floor is lava comes from.

Below I have included the rules so that you may play your own game at home:


1. Stay off the floor!

Brent Dickinson is a student of Liberal Studies at Green Mountain College in Poultney, Vermont, and is the webmaster and contributor to, an online comedy video, article, and comic strip collaboration.