The importance of a person's earliest developing years has long been known, but now researchers are coming across mind-blowing facts about the first 18 months of a person's life. The effects of how they are treated in this period manifest themselves not only in the elementary years, but also in adolescence and in their adult life.

That the act of breast-feeding is essential in building a trusting and loving relationship between a mother and child has been known for a long time, but something that might be even more important is the simple presence of the mother with the baby in the first 18 months. Many women today, especially in America start leaving their children in day-care centers before they turn one year old and many more in their pre-school years. Many of these women have to work to provide financially for the family. Though the necessity for the woman to work is understandable in the current world, this is still a very damaging beginning of a mother-child relationship.

Dangerous behaviors such as severe depression, extreme rebellion, recklessness, nihilism, addictions and violent tendencies have up to 12 times greater chances of manifesting themselves in an adolescent whose mother wasn't around for a large period of infancy. Absence of the father also contributes a lot to such behaviors. Research now indicates that when very young children consistently do not have anyone who responds when they cry, their chances of turning to crime, developing depression and of getting into abusive relationships (as the abuser or the victim) goes up dramatically.

So what's a parent to do in such circumstances? Remember that family is first. Your company is far more important to the baby than that gigantic Teddy Bear that will cost you another 2 hours at work. Try to console the baby when it cries and never ignore it, no matter the stress in your life. Cut down on work time and employ some strategies to cut down expenses so that you can stay home more - don't buy pop, red meat, excess snacks and such. Try to eat at home more often. Get out with the child more so that he/she can experience your company in different environments. Most importantly, model the behaviors you want to see in your child - pray with them and for them, be compassionate, selfless and forgiving towards your spouse. Even if they don't understand what's going on entirely, they do understand that they are to do it too.

Another important aspect of parenting is to maintain your authority. Let them know that you're the boss and start early. Don't let them get away with things you don't want them to do later. This doesn't imply that you be mean to them or hit them in anger, but don't give into their every desire and whim. Love them, but discipline them because you love them.

Spend time with them, love them and discipline them and you'll reduce the chances of them going down the wrong paths by a ton.

Michael Russell

Your Independent Baby and Toddler guide.