One of the most common forms of humor is in asking questions, that when you think about them, make no sense. Oh, the questions themselves make sense all right. It's the things that they are questioning that make no sense when you really sit down and ponder the situation. We're going to ponder some of the more common ones that philosophers have been wrestling with for years and still haven't found an answer to. It is doubtful any answers will be found here as well.

For example, why do people go to a McDonald's, order a Big Mac, large fries, apple pie and then insist on getting a diet soft drink? When you think about it, what sense does this really make? The Big Mac alone has close to 1000 calories. The fries are a good 450 and heaven knows what the apple pie has in it. A person ordering this meal has already consumed almost all the calories they need for the day, so the diet soda isn't going to help ease the situation that's certainly leading this person to an early cardiac episode.

Here's one that should keep quite a few of you up at night. Scientists say that the Universe is everything. The concept of everything should be clear to everyone. However, scientists also say that the Universe is expanding. If the Universe is everything to begin with, then what is it expanding into? This is kind of like saying you have all the money in the world but want more. There IS no more. Weird.

Okay, this one is sure to have you scratching your head. Doctors practice medicine and lawyers practice law. These are people whom we entrust our health and legal problems to. These are people who have the most influence over whether we live or die. Shouldn't they be good enough at what they do that they don't have to practice it anymore? Do you really want your doctor practicing on you while he's doing open heart surgery?

And if you really want something that makes no sense at all, picture this situation. The city of New York has just had a major power outage. Everyone in the city is without light. They can't do anything that requires electricity. So somebody please explain why they report power outages on TV? The people who can see it aren't affected and the people who are affected can't see the report and already know there's an outage anyway since they have no lights. The illogic of man is just mind numbing.

This should raise at least a few eyebrows. The price of something, how much it costs, and the worth of something, are basically the same thing. So then how come priceless and worthless are total opposites?

How about this? Somebody puts a bumper sticker on their car that says, "If you can read this, you're TOO close." If they don't want people to tailgate them then why put bumper stickers on their car in the first place? Who's going to see it BUT the tailgaters?

We could go on and on but you get the point. Lots of stupid questions in our world. Now if only somebody could come up with some smart answers.

Michael Russell

Your Independent guide to Humor