Love is supposed to be pure, yet it always seems to be around when money is exchanged. In the early days, the groom was required to give gifts to the bride's parents as part of the marriage agreement. Since the parents of the bride were losing her to another family, they needed to be compensated. During these times, the engagement ring was not only given as a symbol of the groom's intentions, but also as partial payment for his future wife.

The engagement ring has gone through many changes. Some of the earliest rings were nothing more than plants wrapped around the woman's finger. Of course, these had to be replaced each year. Some rings were made of iron, to symbolize the permanent nature of marriage. Early Roman rings were simple bands with a carved key. Some thought the key symbolized a woman unlocking her man's heart; while others believed the key was a sign of ownership, because after marriage, the woman would get half her husband's wealth.

The ring finger appears to have more mystery than the ring itself. The fourth finger on the left hand, has long been regarded as the ring finger. Legend has it that a vein of love connected the fourth finger to the heart, but of course this wasn't true. In fact, some cultures believed it was the third finger that had the vein of love. Before the 1500s, Christian tradition required rings to be worn on the third finger of the right hand. In some European countries, the ring is worn on the left hand before marriage and is moved to the right hand during the ceremony.

Since grooms aren't paying the family of the brides any more, what is the purpose of the engagement ring? The bride will get a wedding ring, so are two rings really necessary. When you consider the costs involved with a wedding, reception and honeymoon, an engagement ring appears to be an extravagance born out of tradition and not common sense. The lack of money causes a lot of problems in a marriage and is usually a major factor, if the marriage ends. So maybe the money for the engagement ring should be placed in the bank, to help with future expenses.

And giving an engagement ring doesn't always lead to marriage. People change their minds all the time about who they love and how much they love them. If there is no wedding, what happens to the engagement ring. The ring was a gift, but it was given with the presumption of marriage. If there is no marriage then maybe the ring should be returned. It shouldn't matter why the relationship ended, or who ended it. No one should financially benefit from a broken engagement.

Whether the engagement ring serves a purpose doesn't matter, it almost seems mandatory that you give one, if you expect to be married. It's funny how relationships start out, being about love and commitment, but in the end, they always seem to come back to money.

Michael Russell

Your Independent guide to Engagement Rings