Having kids is not a game, it's a big responsibility. This will be a human life, that will be depending on you, for many years to come. It's not right for two people, married or not, to expect a child to complete their lives. That's way too much pressure to put on a child. You shouldn't bring a child into the world, unless you can totally devote yourself to your child. It's not just your life that's being affected, but the way you raise and interact with your child will have a tremendous affect on how your child will interact with society at large.

Most couples start out by loving their kids and putting the needs of their kids ahead of everything else. But somehow, their values and good intentions can go astray, when the couples break up. Relationships aren't easy, but the ending of a relationship, when kids are involved, is especially tough. The biggest losers, when these relationships end, are the kids. Not only have they lost some stability, but chances are they'll be put in the middle of a custody battle.

Now that the relationship is over, what happens to the kids? Under normal conditions, both parents will want the kids, so a court usually decides on custody. After the court decides which parent keeps the kids, it will also determine child support payments. These are payments made by the parent without custody to the parent with custody. These payments help with the expenses of raising the kids. There are many factors that go into calculating child support payments, and these include the needs of the child, the income of the parent with custody and the paying parent's ability to make payments.

Child support seems cut and dry, but it's not. Once deciding the custody of the kids, the court also plays a role in deciding the visitation rights of the non custodial parent. And just because someone is a parent doesn't mean they'll automatically get visitation rights. If the court thinks that the non custodial parent may be a threat to their kids, the court can limit visitation or only offer supervised visitation. Many non custodial parents use their lack of visitation as an excuse for not making payments. And many accuse the custodial parents of spending the payments on items unrelated to the kids.

In most cases, the court gives the mother custody of the kids. One of the basis of child support, is that in the past, men had all the wealth, so if the men left the relationships, the women and children were normally left in poverty. Of course, you don't need to have been married to be responsible for making child support payments. Many men carry the logo "deadbeat dad", because they've gone years without supporting their kids. Somewhere along the way the purpose of child support has gotten lost. Child support is about the child. It's about helping support the human life that you've created. What reasons could parents have for turning their backs on their kids.

Michael Russell

Your Independent guide to Child Support