These are ten tings you can do to create the ideal relationship.

1. Do your own personal emotional work first.

It is necessary for each individual to become aware of and release the negative unconsciously stored self sabotaging relationship patterns they acquired during their childhoods. Unfortunately most individuals never do this and only find out about them after a failed relationship or an acrimonious divorce.

2. Nurture your own self esteem, self confidence and self worth.

Too many individuals neglect themselves and thus wind up feeling very needy. This neediness then lures them into the unconscious belief that a relationship will help fill such needs. This is a recipe for disaster as it sets up unstable and often abusive co-dependent relationships that lead no where.

3. Nurture Self Awareness.

It is only through self awareness that you will be able to achieve mastery over your own thoughts, emotions, perceptions and behaviors. Anything less means that you are not fully in control of yourself and are vulnerable to making bad choices.

4. Know how to assess the maturity of others.

Most individuals become attracted to each other on the basis of appearance, mutual needs or by the fact that they represent unconscious parental figures. As a result the level of emotional maturity (see my article on the Emotional Maturity Quotient in this ezine) of the other person is completely ignored.

5. Maintain personal honesty as one of your highest priorities.

If you are honest with yourself and with others you will always maintain your personal integrity, self esteem, and self worth and in spite of what ever happens you will feel more resilient. This will also attract individuals who also uphold this as an important value.

6. Be courageous in all your communications.

It is important that when something is to be said that it is said in a respectful and truthful manner. Holding things back can cause them to be pushed into the unconscious where they will "ferment" into feelings of anger, negative behaviors, and abuse and so on.

7. Always look after your health and well being.

Without a solid foundation of good health any relationship will flounder. Your health is your responsibility and not anyone else