Parents are people and unfortunately people can make mistakes even with their kids. Words that don't seem detrimental to adults can harm kids. Parents don't try offend or put down their kids on purpose, but sometimes it's the seemingly harmless statements parents often make that can really shake a child's self-worth and assurance. Parents (and people in general) have said things that they didn't mean. Parents shouldn't be on pins and needles wonder whether what they just said harmed their child. However, it doesn't hurt for parents to think twice before they say certain things.

One thing shouldn't be said to a child is "Stop being a crybaby, idiot, etc" in front of a child's friends. A child may be acting like an actual crybaby or idiot and a parent may think they have every right to say so, but they shouldn't criticize a child's behavior in front of others. It would be better to talk privately to the child about their behavior.

Another thing that shouldn't be said to a child is "You should act more like your sibling". This suggests to the child that they are not acceptable the way they are. Whenever you compare brothers and sisters, it can hurt the relationship between them. If brothers and sisters are not already getting along doing, this will not help any. When you compare one child against another, you're pointing out their flaws and faults. It's better to focus on the individual child and their possibility for improvement without bringing in their sibling. The parent should ask that specific child how they can help that child improve their grades for example one on one.

Another thing that shouldn't be said to a child is "Don't bother me, can't you see I'm busy". Children seem to want to pounce on their parents the minute they walk through the door after work. The parent is tired and the kids are eager to share what they did at school or what happened during their day. The kids are not trying to get on a parent's nerves; they just want to be close to their parents. Parents do have other important things to do and a child's needs are non stop. However, it is important to spend time alone with your kids on a regular basis because children develop self-confidence from the attention and time spent with their parents. Instead of say "Not now" tell them to give you a few minutes go to the restroom, change your clothes and/or get a snack and then they can tell you all about their day.

There are even more words that a parent shouldn't say to their kids that will be discussed in another article. What will also be discussed is the most important words that a parent SHOULD SAY to their kids without any fear or regret. I love you comes to mind, but there are some more words that are equally as important.

Michael Russell

Your Independent guide to Parenting