Is Failing Bad?

I've been having some discussions with my kids lately about "failure," both theirs and mine. My son's not getting the grades he wants, and I'm experiencing some professional setbacks I'm not happy with, and my daughter...well, she's 8, and perfectly content with life, and I think that's perfect.

But the question keeps coming up, "Is failure bad?"

I think the answer is, "It depends on what you do with it."

Here's what a lot of people do. Let's take my professional situation. I'm working on a book. Say I put together a proposal, query 40 or 50 agents, and wait. Every agent says no, this is not what we're looking for.

I throw the proposal in the trash and go on.

I've failed. It's bad. I've given up on my dream of writing this book.

That is, indeed, failure. That