Ten Reasons Why It's Best to Accept How You Feel During Change*
Change is challenging. It impacts on people and they resist. But
sometimes they resist experiencing the feelings that accompany
change. Yet accepting and appreciating how you feel in changing
situations can help. Here's how...
How you feel is OK. Whoever is going through any change
experience would feel the way you do, whether it is angry, sad,
frustrated etc. - all the emotions are acceptable and
understandable. It is OK in the moment to feel the way you do.
Change creates big shifts in emotions. Big shifts. Acknowledging
these shifts is a valuable part of the experience, because it
will enrich you over time and you will come through more
strongly for your new future.
These ten reasons go some way to show why it's OK to feel how
1) It Broadens You
By going with a whole range of feelings and emotions, you become
a broader person - one with many more experiences. This can be
challenging as you go through it, but it will give you talents
and skills that will be useful later.
2) You Get Stronger
Passing through the more challenging feelings is tough, but as
you get through them, you become more capable of handling not
just those bad days, but also skilled at developing strategies
3) It Authenticates You as a Person
Acknowledging the feelings you have and accepting them as OK are
very validating for who you are. Much the opposite of holding in
and trying to ignore what you are feeling.
4) It Shows Others It's OK too
As you show your feelings, others recognise them and know that
it is OK to feel that way too. In a work experience or life in
general, big changes come to more than one person often. Groups
feel the same way - by sharing your personal experience, you
will encourage others to as well.
5) Offers of Help Come
If you show that you are OK with the feelings you have and
express this outwardly, others will show up to help you; to
listen; to support and to co-create solutions and positive
outcomes. Just discussing how you are feeling with others is a
marvellous healer, Accepting help from others is a magical way
to build relationships too.
6) You Let it Out
Letting out how you feel delivers relief. The act of shouting it
(really!) helps. You will find solace in expressing yourself
from the rooftops and remember that it's OK to be like this!
It's part of feeling the real feelings, which helps you feel
7) You are Learning
As you understand your own emotions, you are learning about your
own capacity to cope and manage. This is a valuable resource to
acknowledge. The learning you get from one challenging
experience will enable you to generate a personal stategy for
yourself (and others) for the future.
8) As You Change You Open to Options
Once you go down the dismal hump of disappointment and
appreciate why you are going down and down, you start to realise
that you have within you the choice of new possibilities. You
can start to see that you have the power to choose how you feel
and that changing environments have no right to make you feel
badly if you choose not to. So you see the potential for the
9) Accepting is Easier
And hey, if you get used to the idea that whatever you cannot
personally control is going to happen anyway, acceptance becomes
much more bearable. Accept that you can control only 100% of how
you feel and 0% of what others are in control of and you are
getting there. The earlier in a change cycle you choose to do
this the easier it will become for you.
10) You Can Help Others
And what a powerful support you can become., Realising that
feeling how you feel is OK and there is a light at the end of
every tunnel, is such a support to others. Your experience and
the value you derived from it can be such a resource to others,
who may be less enlightened. So share.
Feeling OK whenever change is imposed on you can, to the
uninitiated, be very challenging and that in itself is OK - you
can't be expected to be perfect at stuff - this is real life!
But grasping change and deciding your own feelings is so much
more powerful - and will uplift you, and your future,