Relationship Heartbreaks - Part Two of Two
The rapture phase of love gives each partner a feeling that is
buoyant, lively, and fulfilling. You project onto your partner
images of beauty, goodness, and love as if your partner were a
canvas waiting to be painted on. The energy of this
consciousness shines a bright light across the world,
obliterating all the differences in your characters, lifting you
and your partner to a higher state of being. You are atop the
summit, and you sparkle to one another like diamonds with many
facets of light.
This is as it should be. Robert Johnson observed that falling in
love is meant to be an initiation into a world much greater than
the individual: an introduction to the ideals of love, truth,
and beauty that transcend the personal ego and ordinary life.
Problems arise when we do not learn how to manage the powerful
energies that are released by love, when, months or years later,
couples begin to become aware of their differences and begin
finding fault with each other. They fall into the valley, and
the intense energy they had felt becomes soulless and rigid as
they engage in "right-wrong" games.
Their energies are channeled into a power struggle that can last
for years as they stumble about through thickets and the
"forests of the night." They lose sight of the partner they had
loved so much and turn them into a threatening figure from their
past--a stalking "tiger."
Their potential for transcendence and a relationship that is
greater than the sum of its parts is squandered, and they lose
themselves in the jungle of faultfinding and blaming. If this
describes your situation, before you can free yourself, you must
identify the forces at work in the shadowy realm that surrounds
you. Keeping a journal and especially a 5 year journal, is a
wonderful tool that can easily support you during this process.
Check out www.the5yearjournal.com
The good news is, you are no longer held fast by fairy tales,
and transformation can begin. One of the most important lessons
you must learn is that you cannot have transformation without
experience, even heartbreak, for it's the lived experience that
allows you to create the transformation. You do not have to lose
romance and passion in your relationship after giving up the
fairy tales. Love gets better once you achieve transformation,
and it's well worth the effort.
Copyright 2005 Linda Miles Ph.D