Foreplay for Advice for Dummies
I often talk about the importance of foreplay and communication
in my blog posts and the articles that I write but someone asked
me the other day exactly what constitutes foreplay and it got me
Foreplay is a big part of communication and vice versa. If your
partner is just hopping in bed and going for it you need to be
able to communicate either through words or actions what would
make the experience more satisfying for both of you.
Foreplay is not necessarily only something that is done in the
bedroom - your daily actions play a big part in how you and your
mate perceive each other and can affect the vibe of your love
life. Constant nagging or appearing disinterested in your
partner's interests can leave him feeling underappreciated or
ignored. Failing to share the household burden or just give
moral support can leave her feeling like you do not cherish her
or find her sexy as a person. It takes time and effort every day
to tend to a relationship - think of it as foreplay to foreplay.
It is also worth noting that men and women generally need a
different kind of foreplay - men tend to respond to more
immediate tactile advances while women tend to experience the
whole of the relationship as a prelude to intercourse and a
couple of bad days can do as much damage to your night of
passion as a cold shower.
Sometimes men will need prolonged foreplay to get an erection
and some are raring to go at the drop of a hat (or your
lingerie). Physical foreplay for men is usually pretty basic.
The direct touching of the genitals will often do the trick. If
you want to tantalize your man here are some maneuvers to work
into your act:
Show me the honey!
Men are very visually driven, so sexy clothing is helpful, but
giving him an unobstructed view of that which he desires can be
sexier than any lingerie. Perform a slow strip tease or surprise
him by serving dinner or drinks in next to nothing.
Steam it up
Run your parted lips over his body and exhale slowly. The warm
moist air of your breath will change the temperature of his skin
and heighten his arousal.
Who's the Boss?
Seize control of the situation - take charge of the night. Many
women would be surprised to know that men like to be taken in
passion as much as women. Being sexually aggressive is a sign of
a lusty appetite and shows that you're as into things as he is.
Just a Little Touch
Men are especially receptive to tactile stimulation when
aroused. Do something different - run silk over his back, make
long but gentle scratches up and down his back or drape your
hair over his member.
Take a Break
Stimulate him just to the brink and then draw back a little. You
do not have to stop your lovemaking, but ease up and put off the
reward for a while. This is also a good technique for prolonging
And for her.....
Women need physical foreplay to become properly lubricated for
intercourse. Direct genital touching is not always the best way
to get your woman hot and bothered. In fact, making that the
last place to visit is often a good technique for arousing her.
Let her know in words and actions that you want her, that you
find her sexy, that you REALLY need her.
Nothing is more important in foreplay to a woman than feeling
like the two of you have a connection. Tell her often that you
were thinking about her. When out without her, instead of saying
how much fun you had with the guys, tell her it was fine but you
missed her. Don't lie and there is no need for flowery
Valentine's Day speech, just honest feelings and caring
Being intimate does not always have to mean having sex. Ask her
probing questions and listen to her answers, you might learn
something helpful. Strive to give her more than one-word replies
when she asks you the same kinds of questions. Confide in her,
don't shut her out of your thoughts and feelings. Women like to
KNOW the person they are with. Sex in a relationship is a very
personal thing and leaves a person feeling vulnerable so needs
to have a basis of trust and caring.
Make lots of physical contact without being sexual, like holding
hands, brushing her hair, giving her short shoulder massages
throughout the day or kisses in the hallway as you go about your
daily routine. Do anything to make contact without it having to
be sexual. She will remember it and crave more touching later.
For most women kissing is an incredible turn on. A woman sees
kissing as a form of emotional intimacy. If you attack her with
your tongue hanging out she is probably not going to feel very
sexy, so start with a brief caressing of lips or some kissed on
the neck. Pay attention to how she responds and let it go from
there. Try to have a long interval between starting kissing and
actually "heavy petting" just like in high school - the
anticipation is half of the fun.
Take your time with your foreplay, usually longer stimulation
results in heightened sensitivity and sends your senses haywire
- leading to explosive orgasm. Breaking routine, exploration,
new places, new positions, role playing and letting your lover
know what is satisfying you or not are important elements in
One final word for both men and women to remember - When in
doubt, imitate what your partner is doing, as it is almost
always a sign of what he or she likes!
Copyright 2005 Katie Rose Intimates
Sexy Costumes and Lingerie