Part 3 - The version of Cheating
If you've read my 2 parts to my week of hell, this is may be my
final version the one where I cheated...
For the word cheating means something bad, and I admit I
cheated on my Boyfriend who I took back after our break-up. When
we split the night after he "cheated" on my, although we split
up, there is still that bit of respect we keep with each other.
I wouldnt have snogged someone in a club, that would mean I was
as low as him.
I broke up on tuesday, made up on friday and cheated on Monday
night, with a guy who I just met at my pamper session. The idea
for the session was to get me to understand that I can make new
friends and enjoy not having my boyfriend around me all the
time. To some you might think that I cheated on my boyfriend
because I was getting revenge, maybe that was true in some way,
but I believe I was craving so much attention from my boyfriend
that I did this without knowing... it wasnt planned and I was
not out to do anything apart from have a good night in... A day
afterwards I still thought about the night I cheated and I never
looked back. My boyfriend breaking up with me took him the
break-up to realise he needed me, and my cheating night was the
one that got me to realise that I still love him.
Whether its a kiss or fumble, its all cheating, at the time of
doing it I was in control, and for a little while I was the one
who was getting all the attention. I felt attractive and needed,
if only for one night it was different and I needed different. I
was in mt stage of development, and you could say I've gotten
this out of my system... which I indeed did!
The version of cheating, gets you realising will they ever find
out. Some never do, some hide the real truth forever, and take
it to there grave, but this time I wanted to be honest and never
hold anything back from him, in fear of him finding out from
other people I took the opportunity to tell him as soon as I was
In the begining It was perfect, then he started it all with the
space thing, this would never have happened if it has stayed the
same and we worked on our relationship. Im sure we will work it
all out in the end but its up to him if he can now hug me like
he used to. He feels the same way I do when he snogged that guy.
He now knows what it feels like to be hurting. He wanted to get
rid of me, but he loves me he says and so its hard to get angry.
Hes upset and would be if anyone is in his shoes.
Somewhere deep inside me said now i can move on and not care if
im dumped a second time. He said also that if he suspects me of
doing it - he'll do it as well. That could be the same with me,
but in terms of scoring points I have scored alot more!!
I feel bad all the time, everytime I look at his cute face and
with every part of my body reaches out to him in search of love
and hugs. He hasnt got his emotions ready and so Im deprived of
hugs that I cherish so much... I feel worthless and lonely cause
he's distancing himself from me as much as he can - he's
aquiring the space he can, whilst were in out repair stage!!
Will it last? Im sure it will on my behalf. Infedelity makes
relationships stronger appreantly, but does my version of
cheating make us stronger... time is a healer I believe in it.
If you've cheated, you can decide to keep it a secret, or live
in fear that they will bump into them in the street and
everything will be thrown out the window. Best advice, we've
only got a few years in our lives, and we dont live forever, so
to stop the heart ache later on in life when your older, be
honest and be prepared for the worst. Then afterwards when they
dont want you - go have fun, BUT if they want you back then work
on it so hard so it gets super strong that no one can ever break
it up again!
Trust plays a big part in this version, make sure trust is the
first thing that you get sorted out of all this - its a must.
Please share you versions on here, writing about it helps and
makes you reliase what you should have said or what you shouldnt
Cheating if not intended makes you stronger to understand
relationships better, but if the cheating was planned then you
will never get to understand anything about who you are...
Being single is the only way forward, but who wants to be
single??? Not me! x