Demystifying Gift Cards
Buying a greeting card for the woman in your life can be a
daunting task. I have seen more than one man with that deer in
the headlights look on his face heading to the greeting card
racks. Being the dominant creature that he is, he summons his
strength and moves with cat-like prowess... only to find himself
thumbing through card after card, toying with one card, then on
and on through the others. It is not a pretty sight, this
cat-and-mouse hunt for the perfect expression.
Any man can master the fine art of greeting card selection if
he's willing to follow a bit of female advice.
1. Know the occasion. If it's her birthday, buy a birthday card.
She won't appreciate a one-size-fits-all-occasions card on her
anniversary either. All greeting card displays are organized by
occasion. By reading the category signs, you can go directly to
"Birthdays", "Anniversaries" or any other particular category,
saving precious time. It works just like the beer case at the
supermarket...domestics and imports each have their own section.
2. Know the woman. This is a do-able task, even for men in new
relationships. Pay attention when she opens gift cards and shows
them to you. File her reaction in that "stuff-I-gotta-remember"
area... right there between "all babies are beautiful" and
"fuchsia is not pink". If you've just met the woman and
absolutely don't have a clue about her tastes, choose a very
generic card, but always include a handwritten note to
personalize it. Women treasure greeting cards like men treasure
power tools and hang on to them forever.
3. Never, ever... also for your "stuff-I-gotta-remember" file...
buy a card that mentions the age of the woman or makes any
reference to her age. It's an across-the-board given that women
in general don't appreciate sentiments of this type. Nor do they
find humor in greeting cards that make any reference to weight
Avoid these types of greeting cards however appropriate you may
think they are for the occasion. Remember, you're buying a card
for a woman here. Think of a greeting card for her just like she
thinks of shoes. Just because they fit doesn't mean she'll enjoy
wearing them. If you have any doubts, just look in her
closet...her most favorite pair of shoes may be a size too
small, but she feels like a million dollars when she wears them.
Greeting Cards to avoid like the plague:
Themes making reference to cooking mishaps... so she set off the
fire sprinklers, she was trying to make your favorite meal. This
includes no fire trucks, smoking food, or blackened ovens.
Themes making reference to driving mishaps... so she can't
parallel park her car or any car, but she was running an errand
for you. This includes no police cars, tow trucks, or bent
Themes making reference to organizational proficiency.... so she
did put your socks in the wrong drawer, at least she did put
them in matching pairs. This includes no messy desks, crammed
closets, or cluttered purses.
Themes making reference to any personal appearance crisis...so
her hair did have that glow-in-the-dark effect. You're the one
who said she'd look great as a blonde. This includes no pictures
of women with fuzzy perms, hair curlers, or green hair.
Guys will be amazed at how much easier the greeting card
selection process is after eliminating the above categories.
4. Do consider a humorous card, if appropriate for the occasion,
but only if the woman has a good sense of humor. Not sure? Then
leave it in the card rack...better safe than sorry.
5. Humorous cards with animals are often a good bet especially
if the woman has a beloved pet. Use your head here guys, if you
despise her dog, don't buy a card featuring the animal control
dude with a net.
6. Use sexy cards sparingly and only if you have a close,
intimate relationship with the woman. Never give a greeting card
with sexual connotations to a woman with whom that is uncharted
territory or to a woman with whom you have no intentions of
entering that territory. It doesn't do much for the image of the
7. If you find more than one card that is appropriate buy more
than one. Store the others for next year. You can even go out on
a limb here and give her more than one card. She'll love that
you have so much to say.
8. Never just sign a card and give it to a woman. Remember that
like me, most women cherish cards and keep them to reread,
especially when a thoughtful personalized message is added by
Now get out there you beasts of jungle and show women that you
can rule those greeting card racks like the kings that you are
with the same finesse that they wave a wand of mascara.
If my guidelines are too tedious or you're truly too busy to
shop for cards consider using Hallmark.com to personalize and
send your cards for you. They offer a very affordable and
convenient service if you don't mind having the card sent
separately from any present you may give. You can find out more
about their card sending service at: http://www.Hallmark.com
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