Managing Emotions vs. Controlling Emotions
Managing Your Emotions - Being aware of your emotions and
letting them happen. Understanding where they come from and what
they mean. "Getting" the message they are sending. Knowing that
you have a choice in how you respond to them.
Controlling Your Emotions - Shutting down when you're feeling an
emotion. Not letting it surface. Stuffing it down. Not getting
the message it's trying to give you. Faking it. Forcing yourself
not to feel what you're feeling. Denying what you're feeling.
Being in touch with your emotions vs. Being out of touch with
Experiencing your emotions and deciding what you will do with
this information vs. Shutting down the emotion, or reacting to
it in a knee jerk fashion
Allowing all your emotions as valid sources of information vs.
Being willing to allow only certain emotions you consider proper
Managing Your Emotions - As John James sat in the meeting, he
realized his pulse was racing, his jaw was clamped, and his knee
was bouncing up and down. When he examined the source, he
realized that his manager was once again belittling the staff
and claiming credit for what others had done and this was making
him angry. He decided to quit pretending things were going to
change, and to get his resume ready.
Controlling Your Emotions - Mary's husband demeaned her again
and then struck her in the face. She told herself he was a good
man and couldn't help doing that, and that it didn't really