Hearing vs. Listening
Hearing - To perceive or apprehend by the ear; to gain knowledge
of by hearing; to listen to with attention. Listening - To pay
attention to sound; to hear something with thoughtful attention;
to give consideration; to be alert to catch an unexpected sound.
To really key in to what the person is saying and not saying. To
look for the meaning and the feelings behind what is being said.
To go beyond the words. Giving your deepest level of attention.
vs. Simply receiving the words which can become only "sounds".
Not trying to understand, ot get below the surfce. Giving only
peremptory attention. Not absorbing feelings or taking in any
Mary sat and let Nancy explain the new project she wanted to
initiate, but Mary's mind was already made up. She had made up
her mind beforehand she didn't want to do and had closed her
mind. She just sat and let Nancy explain as a matter of
courtesy, but didn't take in any new information. She had
already decided to say "no". Jane on the other hand was vitally
interested in what Paul had to say about the new project he was
proposing. She repeated back what she thought she was hearing.
She asked questions. She asked how Paul felt about this and
that, and expressed her own feelings. She went below the surface
to see what Paul intended to accomplish. She was actively
involved in the conversation. She listened with her heart as
well as her intellect.
Hearing requires very active participation. You can listen to
sounds, but to hear what the person means, and what they're
trying to explain to you takes being receptive at many levels
and is hard work.
Feeling vs. Touching
Holding v. Carrying
You can't connect with people unless you are willing to hear,
and not just listen.