Confessions of a Professional Matchmaker
Confessions of a Professional Matchmaker Don't make these
mistakes when searching for love online!
"I spent my life searching for the perfect woman. I finally
found her but alas, she was searching for the perfect man."
I was a professional matchmaker for several years - trying to
help singles meet others with whom they shared common interests
and complementary personality traits. I met with my clients in
person and they were screened to ascertain their real names,
addresses, education, marital status. Most importantly, I tried
to help them determine the type of person they were really
seeking and that's where most of the problems arose.
Even though my clients verbalized that they were happy to be
matched based upon compatibility, this was not true! The major
problems I encountered were:
1) A number of clients were seeking others mainly based on
appearance. I would show each new client photos of existing
clients based on their characteristics as well as their
appearance. Unattractive people sometimes became offended when I
matched them with their physical counterparts. A dowdy sixtyish
woman asked me, "Is that what you think of me?" when I attempted
to match her with men in her age and looks category. Many
clients seemed to be totally unaware of how they looked to
others and wanted matches that were highly inappropriate. With
these people, compatibility had no bearing on their matches.
They wanted the best looking people in my book!
2) Some clients refused to compromise - even when matched with
someone they liked!
I matched two extremely overweight people who liked each other
immediately and went out on several dates. Before their last
meeting for a Sunday movie date, the woman asked to meet at 7:00
pm instead of the 5:30 show. The man became annoyed, broke the
date, and immediately ended their budding relationship. He, who
was a part-time telemarketer, told me he needed time on Sunday
evenings "to get ready for his work on Monday." Because she
needed to reschedule their date, he was totally turned off to
her regardless of his prior interest and their compatibility.
3) Others had a Wish List for their Perfect Person and expected
me to find the person on that list for them. One divorced man in
his late 30's expressed a desire for a woman who had a specific
type of nose. (Really!) A never-married woman in her early 30's
with pale blonde hair and very light skin wanted a man with
very, very dark skin (but not an African-American), who earned
at minimum $75,000 per year, was not in Sales, had never been
married and had no children. I had twelve men who matched her
description in my data base but she found something wrong with
each one and refused to go out with any of them. She then
complained about my service and was upset because she 'had not
had even one date'. AARRGGHH!!! An Indian medical student saw
her photo and was instantly smitten. They had many things in
common and each was what the other was seeking. He was very
excited about meeting her; however, before they met, he wanted a
guarantee of a successful relationship which I of course could
not give him. They never met and as far as I know, both are
still single and searching.....
My advice: Don't shoot yourself in the foot! If you are meeting
a lot of people and just can't seem to connect, ask yourself if
you really want a relationship. Are you ready and willing to be
close with another person? If you constantly find fault with
others, ask yourself these questions and be a bit more tolerant.
Don't expect to find your perfect person because he or she does
not exist. Be happy if you find Ms. or Mr. Almost-Perfect. Good