Is It Possible to Have Too Much Emotional Intelligence?
Someone emailed me recently, "Do you think it's possible to have
too much emotional intelligence going on? To the point that
perhaps logic takes a backseat?"
Good question. The fact is, we need both IQ and EQ. You can't
have "too much" emotional intelligence, but that doesn't mean at
the expense of logic.
It's time to use logic, for instance, when figuring out a
budget, or making a timeline for a project. Then there's a time
to use emotional intelligence - using leadership skills, for
instance, to get those people to make that timeline and project
Emotional intelligence means using all your faculties, including
logic and reason, to bring about results that are favorable. It
means having the flexibility and creativity to see alternatives.
Say you're presented with a highly-charged emotional situation,
for instance. You're furious with your partner and would like to
hit him. Your EQ would tell you to manage that emotion, to stop
and think. Your "thinking brain" would then consider the
possible consequences of your act -- seriously hurting him,
going to jail, harming the relationship irreparably, feeling
shame and guilt afterwards, and other things that are not in
your best interest. At the same time, you could use your empathy
to try and see things from their point of view.
There are times when logic does need to take a back seat, for
instance when we need to use our hearts in managing a
misbehaving toddler. Logic and reason aren't of much use with a
two year old. They also aren't of much use in figuring out the
big questions in life, like why bad things happen to good
Emotional intelligence means managing emotions so you can take
action in the best interest of all concerned. This also requires
using your thinking brain!
To learn more about emotional intelligence, go here: