Offering Quality Support: Is It About Us or Them?

Giving support. What does that look like for you? If you are a private practice professional such as a coach or therapist, you may already be clear on the boundaries and standards you operate from. In my experience, most people have only the best of intentions while being of service to others though at times are often left feeling exhausted and overrun from becoming too highly invested in the outcome. Upon further investigation, they often discover that their actual practice of what support should look like and feel like is often not delivered with strong boundaries and clear communication.

For me, quality support is coming from a place of experience and not opinion. Listen to others for their definition of support, of what they understand support should look like and feel like which often are not constructed with strong boundaries and clear communication.

Support can be words of wisdom, guidance and encouragement or sharing a painful lesson and the outcome. It is also knowing when to challenge and when to redirect, as well as mastering listening skills. I also practice giving support by often letting others just vent or by being with them wherever and however they are.

The trick to offering quality support is two-fold:

1.Be clear on what type of support is needed, which means not holding back on asking for clarity.

2.Be clear on what type of support you are delivering while not taking things personally.

Sometimes I find it almost impossible to not want to react or take things personally, even as a trained professional. The key point here is want. What I am clear on is when I offer support to a friend, spouse, family member, client or stranger, my purpose is to keep the focus on them and not make it about me. If I operate under this principle, I receive and offer rich rewards such as:

Deeper intimacy
Serenity
Clean motives
Less inner-conflicts
Lower stress levels
Full self-expression
Conflict resolution
Productivity and creativity
Feedback not criticism

How do I know who my support is really about?

The below mentioned are some personal guidelines in my coaching practice that I