IS YOUR INNER CRITIC WORKING OVER-TIME?
Do you have an Inner Critic who seems to always be on duty? It
is that voice that sounds so sure and authoritative as it tears
at your self-esteem and whittles away at your self-confidence.
You can actually look spectacular, healthy and fit and it will
fixate on the part of your body you like the least. Sound
It is not the exact words that this voice utters that matter. It
is the quality of the energy behind the words...and it is often
not positive. Interestingly enough, the voice is usually not
telling the truth. In fact, it is not even close to being based
in reality. It is such a strange phenomenon. A hundred people
could tell you that you look terrific today, and that one
lonely, miserable Inner Critic can cause you to decide that all
one hundred of those folks are wrong! When you look at it that
way, it seems ludicrous, doesn't it?
Let me tell you a story from my own life. From the time I was
nine years old, I was told that I needed to diet, change, do
more, do less, reach, settle, conform, stretch. The message from
my folks was that no matter what I did I would never be good
enough. Sound familiar again? Once I was an adult, the content
of that message shifted from my weight to my career and
mothering ability, but the outcome was the same--no matter what
I did I would never be good enough. If I paid attention to my
career--and, as a single mother of three, there was no choice if
we wanted to eat--my parents insisted that I was not giving my
children enough of my time. If I paid attention to my children,
I was wasting my life being a mother. What a Catch-22! My
parents were invested in control. Making it impossible for me to
"win" allowed them to think they were in control. Fortunately, I
saw their game when I was seventeen and gave their opinions less
weight than they thought. Or, at least, that is what I thought!
At forty or so, I was making photograph albums for my three
children. As I went through all the photos from my parents' home
and mine, I found myself in tears. Why? Because, in looking at
forty years of photos of me, I could see no evidence of the
person they described when I looked at myself. The person in
those photos was just fine just the way she was. And yet, that
Inner Critic had been well-informed with those repeated
messages. My tears were for the early years of striving to gain
the approval of folks whose opinions I really did not value. I
tell that story because I know it is a common one. Fortunately,
at age nineteen, Maxwell Maltz and I became friends through his
books. Everything changed!
If your Inner Critic has way too much to say, consciously turn
it off. When it begins, change the channel to one that is
supportive, one that encourages you to live fully, stretch and
grow--all on your own terms. You can do this!
REMEMBER, WHAT YOU PAY ATTENTION TO EXPANDS!