So What's Your Excuse?
I'm not sure what the history of "excuses" is, except to know
that a majority of the time excuses equal some sort of
They're part of what we thought we "should do" vs. being a "must
do"! Excuses come from us not being able to take our own "no's".
They're what we say to people so that we "don't hurt their
feelings". Excuses are what we say so that others don't hurt us.
Excuses are part of what we're tolerating in our life (that
which draws out our energy and squashes it)!
Excuses come back to haunt us unless we look at them as gifts
from clients or friends or ourselves. Have you ever received an
excuse for "something" and thought -- Is that person kidding
with that excuse? Why didn't they just say NO? OH! ... I am
doing the same thing to "so and so".
Say NO!!! Sometimes saying "NO" to someone means saying "YES" to
someone even more important -- YOU!
What can you do when you give someone a "no" that they don't
accept? Take the time to think about what type of answers you
can give and things you can do to protect your boundaries so
that you can raise your standards. Check out these Top Ten Lists
about boundaries. They are just wonderful! "Things to say
pleasantly when people attempt to invade your boundaries" by
Coach Diana Robinson www.topten.org/public/BG/BG1.html and
another wonderful Top Ten by Coach Dennis Tesdell
Integrity Lesson This month, write down all the excuses you hear
yourself giving others and giving yourself. Look for the
patterns. Are you not setting boundaries? Are you setting
boundaries and the person isn't listening? Are you setting
boundaries and you're not enforcing those boundaries? Or what
other patterns do you see.
And remember: Yes, No and Maybe are all complete sentences!!!