Controllable Destiny ... Setting a Destination and Experiencing
The many ideas of "living life" are the most indistinctly
defined conundrums that a human being can ponder. Philosophy has
its own definitions of life and living. Of course, so do
religions, corporations, politicians, and every diverse group on
the planet. Some of the looser definitions I hear from many
- Life is ruled by destiny. - Life is ruled by fate. - We all
live by a Universal Plan. - Only God knows.
In general, many people believe that their lives are already set
and that they should accept the paths and destinations placed
before them. But, the few that believe that life is what you
make of it are the ones that understand that there is no
absolute definition for life and living.
--- Belief Systems ---
In every case, you identify paths in your life based on your own
personal "belief system." This system is who you are and what
makes you do the things you do. It is your conscience, your ego,
your little devil ... you! Everything you do in life is based on
at least one of your core beliefs. But, when you do step outside
of that lifelong foundation, you may feel frightened,
uncomfortable, and generally lost.
I do believe in a God, a greater existence above us all, but
life has taught me that there are no controlling entities that
have absolute plans laid out for each of us. I would have to say
that one's direction is chosen by none, and by all. Our
destinies are not chosen at birth, but are poured into us as we
grow and every action we take affects others as much as the
actions of others affect us.
We choose our destination in life based on our beliefs. We feel
as though our destinations are predetermined because we know
what we "must" do to satisfy those beliefs. When we grow to
reach the boundaries of that belief system, we become
dissatisfied because we can see where we want to go, but can't
get there with our current beliefs. It is at that time that we
must decide to either take the leap into the unknown, or stay
where we are because it is safe and known.
--- Destiny vs. Destination ---
Destiny, by definition, is the idea of "what may happen in the
future." For most, it is the acceptance that we have a
predetermined destiny and we should not fight the path on which
we are placed. Destination, by definition, is the act of "aiming
for a certain position; a place." For some, a destination is the
ultimate place that we want to be at the end of a given
journey---a chosen place at the end of a path.
The idea of allowing destiny to choose your direction in life is
the easiest way to live. It guarantees that you will encounter
little resistance and be able to live a constant life from
beginning to end. You merely experience the day-to-day problems
of living an existence.
However, destiny is only the idea of what "may" happen in the
future. It is not a set future, but one that you choose to
accept as an absolute. Accepting destiny usually occurs when one
either does not know how to choose a destination in their life
or when one is so overwhelmed by their life that they don't have
time, or are afraid, to choose.
To move forward, one must pick a destination, and work to get
there. This is not an easy task as our own beliefs, disbeliefs,
overwhelming situations, and lack of understanding cloud us all.
It is not the abandonment of a belief system, it is the
enhancement of our existing system through growth and knowledge
that brings about change. We must first clear ourselves and
understand our blocks and our goals so that we can view a better
picture of what we can do for ourselves.
--- Choosing a Destination ---
To choose a destination, you must know what you want. Many
times, people select their paths based on their current state
and beliefs in their lives. This tends to push them right back
into the same, or similar, situations that they are in at the
time they decide to make a change. This usually occurs out of
fear of looking outside of their "comfort zones" and environment.
Comfort zones are unusual places in which to exist. Such zones
can create apathy and lethargy and keep one from moving beyond
current situations. The lack of movement is because the person
has become comfortable with a particular situation in their life
and is able to, somewhat, control the situation. Even if the
situation is torturous and stressful, it is familiar, and if the
person feels control or comfort, they will resist change and
It is important that, when trying to determine a destination,
you think of the things that are important to you, overall. Not
just now, but in the "long run" of your life. Ask yourself such
- Where do I want to be? - What do I want to do? - What is
important to me?
In the days of the wagon trains, "ruts" were created in the
ground by continual traffic over one path. In life, a rut is
caused by continual travel between the same places in your
existence. In examining the questions in detail, you can
eventually define a destination outside of your current
situation and break out of any ruts that might keep you moving
along the same paths.
--- Headin' Down the Highway ---
Once you go through the process of picking a destination, you
have to head in the general direction to reach that destination.
It's like driving down a highway. If you're driving down I-10
West, you have a choice to make. Do you go to Las Vegas or Los
Angeles? If the chosen destination is Las Vegas, take the I-40
exit then head North on various highways. If you choose Los
Angeles, take I-10 all the way in through Needles. The point is,
you chose the destination, but along that path, you will
experience different terrain, decisions, and changes before you
reach that destination.
In some cases, the path is treacherous, hot, and muggy and you
twinge at the expectation that the destination will be a living
hell, when in fact, the destination is an oasis of more than you
could have ever hoped. In other cases, the path is easy, yet the
destination is a wild, hot, and crowded place that may not meet
your expectations. Whatever the assumed outcome, make changes to
accommodate yourself, but stay the course.
Realize that once you pick a destination in life, you will have
to figure out how to get there. Every destination has a
different path with different "obstacles." These obstacles,
however, are helpful "classes" in preparing you for your
ultimate destination. You can plan for some of these classes by
simply examining what it will take to reach your destination.
You must set your goals, vision, and mission before you can
understand the challenges that must be overcome to reach your
ultimate destination. It's sometimes a difficult task, but it
can be done.
--- Pie in the Sky ---
I remember being told so many times that my vision of my life
was "pie in the sky." I never cared, and kept on plodding---into
failure. But, it wasn't until I began to manage my expectations
that I was able to reach my lofty destinations with success.
Picking a destination that is far beyond your immediate reach
can lead to disappointment and frustration. Failure leads to
more failure and eventually, complete surrender.
I'm not telling you to give up on your lofty goals, I'm telling
you to slow down and take a good look at where you're going. You
must learn how to break your dreams into smaller pieces. Take
only pieces of the pie instead of the whole thing at one time.
If you conquer one piece, you're that much closer to your
ultimate vision. Conquer one piece at a time and learn as you
go. It not only makes you smarter and stronger, but it will also
give you a better chance of conquering the next leg of your
journey to reach that, originally, lofty goal.
--- What's next? ---
We do have a controllable destiny, but we have to learn what it
is that is keeping us from satisfying our desires and reaching
our chosen destination. This destination must be earned by
researching the path it takes to get you there. This is where
you must come to understand your belief system and how to make
it grow to accommodate your goals.
So many people allow apathy to control their lives. They wait
for their destinies to come to them. In some cases, they call it
"allowing God to guide" them when, in fact, "He" is within us
all allowing us to chose and move in whichever direction we
desire. If you still feel like God and the Universe has a plan
for your life, and you really don't want to try to step out of
your situation to move toward a better life, just remember:
"God helps those who help themselves."