Ten Useful Delaying Tactics
Imagine the scene. You need to prepare a report that has to be
with your boss the following day. It's the big one - if you
impress him you're on your way up. The success you've craved is
only a matter of a few hours away.
Your mind begins to drift and you find other things to occupy
your time. The following is a helpful list that will ensure that
your report will be delayed and that you'll blow everything
you've worked for. Remember, if you do all the things on this
list, you'll NEVER suffer from executive stress (you'll never be
1. Start running Norton Anti Virus (or similar). Sit there and
watch it work through all your files. At the same time, you
could use your Maintenance Wizard and defragment your disk. It's
probably been a long time since you've done it so it'll waste a
good chunk of time.
2. Check all your old emails. Reply to a few that you've
neglected. Check your message rules and create a few new ones.
Check out some of the items on the menus that you've not read
3. Make coffee. Make lots of it. Invite friends over. Run out of
coffee. Have to go to the supermarket. Meet some more friends.
Be invited out for lunch. Drink too much and come back home in
the small hours of the morning.
4. Look out of the window. Notice things that you've never seen
before. Count the number of leaves there are on the tree
5. Get online and surf. Find a good chat room. Talk to as many
people about today's game as you can. Post a few messages on a
message board. Find out what's going on in Boulder. Check the
CNN page. Develop an interest in World Politics.
6. Find that CD Tutorial you bought a few years back. 'How to
Speak Spanish'. See if you can get further than ordering a beer
in a bar.
7. Go and look at yourself in a mirror. Worry about getting
old/going grey/losing your hair/putting on weight/developing
spots/whether you need a tuck here and there. The best thing to
do is to go and stand in front of a full-length mirror naked.
Jump up and down and see which bits wobble. If that doesn't make
you break out in a cold sweat, I don't know what will.
8. Dial someone you haven't spoken to in years. Find out what's
going on in their lives. Then you can tell them all about the
important report you've got to write. They may be sympathetic.
They may invite you over for a beer!
9. Create a digital database of your CDs/DVDs/books etc. Even
better, go down into the basement and drag out all of your old
vinyl albums. You haven't seen them for years so you'll need to
read all the album sleeves again. What ever happened to
10. Play 'Danger Mail'. If you don't know what this is then I'll
explain. You write an email to someone important, such as your
boss, and write down all the things you hate about them - all
their nasty habits, their foibles - everything. Then, hold your
finger just over the 'Send' key. In fact, just rest it on top.
You are only a second away from ruining your whole life. Cough
now and it could all be over!!!! You can spend hours waiting
I guarantee that if you do the above, you'll remain in the same
job for a long while (unless they sack you).
However, if you want to get on in life, ignore the above list.
Become focussed. Plan out your report. Make it the best you can.
And get it to your boss on time. Don't delay, do it today.