When I first met my husband, I couldn't wait to see him again. Our dates left me breathless - that indescribable feeling that accompanies meeting Mr. Perfect, reveling in the escalating relationship, and knowing we'd share the rest of our lives together.
Now that the honeymoon is long over and we've settled into a routine -- kids, bills, jobs and stress - it can be challenging to keep the passion burning. But with a little effort - and the right romance boosters - we've learned to check our responsibilities at the bedroom door and turn up the heat. Our secret? A little planning and a lot of creativity.
When you were dating, you penciled your man into your Daytimer. Now that you're married, revive the tradition. Agree on a night, hire a babysitter, and choose a drop-dead gorgeous dress that will make his jaw hit the floor. Escape to a four-star restaurant or book a hotel room, and don't rush the night's activities - not if you want to experience the rush you used to enjoy.
Get away from home so you can spend time alone just talking - but not about the kids or the latest assignment from your boss from hell. Joke around, share your dreams and fantasies, and focus on what drew you to each other the first time around. Turn on the charm and flirt with reckless abandon, whispering sweet seductions in his ear. Top sexperts recommend doing this at least once a month (more is better!), so keep the babysitter on speed-dial.
And it doesn't always require batteries. Variety is the Spice of Wife. Add a new pleasure-producing position, use a different room of the house, or take it outside. Lose the routine and turn blah to "aah"! Check out one of my favorite sources: 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex. He won't know what hit him.
Even if the kids are home, you can set up a sensual soiree in your bedroom. That's why there's a lock on the door! Send your hubby an email invitation and transform the bedroom into a libido-loosening love nest before he arrives home. Light some candles, sprinkle rose petals on the stairway so he can Hansel his way to your Gretel, and add a cupful to a perfectly warmed bubble bath for two. Keep dinner in the fridge. You'll be ravenous later on!
Dr. Phil is a nice afternoon break, but get some real advice from sources that aren't rated PG-13. Hot new books can teach you cool new romantic techniques, give you racy role-playing ideas and show you how to use your anatomy to your advantage.
Whether you wear a teddy, T-shirt or - heaven help you-flannel nightgown to bed, toss it in the hamper. It's time for an extreme makeover that keeps his eyes lingering on your lingerie. Add a few props and toys, and don't be afraid to experiment. Just say yes!
After a mutually mind-blowing evening, start planning your next amorous adventure. Drop notes in his lunch bag. IM him at work. Paste a note on the bathroom mirror. Let him know his fate for the very next date!
Jennifer Wilson is the owner of Ruby Boudoir, an online store that offers women a sensational selection of romantic gifts, bedroom toys, and attractive lingerie, all with a tasteful, discreet and fun sensibility.
http://www.rubyboudoir.com