Emails Say the Darndest Things
Copyright 2006 Mark Meshulam
The advent of email has created a new environment for human
interaction which is simultaneously more and less personal, but
much less private. Above all, it is unforgiving. Once you click
the "send" button, it is as irretrievable as a nickle down a
sewerpipe.
Consider these actual emails which floated around my office, but
probably shouldn't have. The names are changed but the text,
other than being shortened, is in its full original glory.
In the first vignette, Mark (me, the customer) asks Jim and Ron
(the vendors) to add special markings to their shop drawings...
>>> From Jim 12/28/2005 2:49:43 PM >>> We cannot provide the
glass mark details you requested. We cannot accept the liability
of putting an incorrect glass mark on an elevation. Jim
>>> From Mark 12/28/2005 6:25:29 PM >>> There is no liability at
all for you to put marks on your drawings per our instructions.
Your other point is being perceived as uncooperative. Mark
>>> From Ron 12/28/2005 6:47:49 PM >>> Mark who is
uncooperative??:???? We have jumped thru Hoops for you on ever
project you handle, we are the only supplier who could have got
you thru The Village project, and many more, Why has this become
A ONE WAY STREET???? You question why we will not put YOUR
marking on our drawings? Why can't you just responded to our
adds? We are making every effort to make your Van Buren job a
great job, and I mean EVERY EFFORT, but for some reason, you are
being a fist class P----k, This cannot continue on this path, We
in the past have always been FAIR to each others company, WHY
THE BIG CHANGE?????? Ron
>>> From Mark 12/29/2005 8:38:01 AM >>> I think you are
overreacting. I stated my perception on this particular point.
Don't go nuts on me. Mark
Ron's boss (who was copied on all of this) called me quickly to
apologize. I said, "Don't worry about it, I have done equally
stupid things. If I hadn't gone ballistic on customers myself, I
would have more of a right to be mad."
>>> From Ron 12/30/2005 1:28:29 PM >>> The Best to all of you
and your families and a Happy New Year, and as usual thanks for
your continued business and support, Ron
In the next interchange, Tom, the supervisor is upset with
Frank, the driver.
>>> From Tom 12/14/05 4:30:03 PM >>> Yesterday I asked you to
remove the glass off the sides of the box truck. You didn't do
it. You took the lazy way out and just threw a skid in the back
and walked away.
Also yesterday, you delivered the panels between 9:00 - 9:30 am
as asked. You left before 10:00 am and it still took you 4 hours
to pick up checks. Why? After 10:00 am traffic out of the city
moves pretty good so I don't understand the large quantity of
time lost. I don't understand it, Frank.
Maybe I'm too lenient about things regarding you, because I like
you. I don't know what to think anymore but at this point you
are starting to get a tag as being unreliable. Tom
>>> From Frank 12/14/2005 4:40:03 PM>>> God, this is so
embarrasing, but since the office holiday party I've recently
inherited a hemoroid the size of a grape. Squatting, standing,
walking, sitting, and amongst all of those things the constant
moving around practically destroys my will to live.
As for Yesterday when I was walking out the door Jackie waved me
down to go to two extra locations. I usually drive fast, not too
fast but fast enough to make sure that I'm utilizing the least
ammount of time on the road as possible. But due to my recent
child attached to my bottom end I've been driving alot more
carefully, especially in the box truck (you know how bumpy that
ride is)
As to tagging me as unreliable, I think that it's pretty
premature to say that since you havn't really heard my side of
any of those complaints. Yes I've been late in the morning
occasionally. I really do hate that I can't get up for my alarm
some days. I do everything that I can from going to bed earlier
to setting two alarm clocks. I belive that since I've been
working here that those occurances have gone down. I'm trying to
rectify this but it doesn't work over night. Frank
>>> From Tom 12/14/2005 5:07:42 PM >>> Frank, Your hemmoroid is
not my problem. Get some Preparation H.
As for being labeled unreliable, I hear things you don't. I
choose not to pass it on and try to go about other ways of
approaching it. Also, there have been times when I have asked
for things to get done and they get pushed aside. Such as
busting down crates, moving materials in back, picking up the
tools after you use them. 9 times out of 10 I'm picking up what
you have left laying around and it's getting old.
In short, I have been way too nice about things. My New Years
resolution is to be more of an a*$@hole to people to get my
point across. At this point, that seems like the only way I can
get my point across directly.
As for over sleeping, go to bed earlier. It's hard to hear your
alarm clock at 5:00 am when you go to bed at 3:00 am. Your
personal life is your issue not mine.
In short Frank, be more prompt, pick up after yourself and
finish the things you start before going on to something else.
Tom
>>> From Mark 12/16/2005 10:48:03 AM >>> Frank, Big Brother is
watching. Make sure scheduled times are met, come hell,
hemorrhoid or high water. Mark
>>> From Tom 12/16/2005 10:50:53 AM >>> Mark, Thanks for the
clarification on the spelling on Hemorrhoid. My spell check just
laughed at me when I asked if it was spelled correctly. Tom
>>> From Frank 12/16/2005 11:01:31 AM >>> Tom, Spell it however
you want. But it won't stop calling me "daddy". Frank