Having our own secret secrets, ones that you never dare tell anyone else, creates emotional stress. When they build, they ruin your health. They can make you angry with people, and even at the whole world in general.

Knowing secrets about other people creates drama and builds excitement. It is also a trillion dollar industry. Just look at the tabloids.

Four elements create the formula that builds into a guarded and destructive secret:

Guilt + Fear + Judgment + Person = Secret

Secrets need to be let go and there are three ways to do just that:

1. Talk with a therapist.

2. Talk to the person that the secret is connected too. Maybe you need to apologize or ask for forgiveness. Maybe you feel they need to. You will usually find that they were feeling the same thing. Use an intermediary, like a coach, or a therapist, or someone trained to stay neutral and guide the discussion if needed.

If the person is deceased, then talk with someone you trust implicitly like a coach or therapist. Let them provide feedback on what they are hearing in-between the lines and give some course of action suggestions.

3. If it was something they did to you, find out more about that person, what was their life like, who were they, what pressures did they have in their life, what were their goals.

Most journalers will only write entries up to a certain boundary, then stop. They will not go into their deep down right embarrassing secrets. Yet, these very same secrets stop us from being the stars of our own life.

Secrets make you sick, they place barriers in between you and your goals. Even in your relationships when they actually have nothing to do with that person.

Holding onto other people