How To Make SURE Your Prospects Stay Glued To Your Sales Copy!
If you want to make sure your prospects stay GLUED to your sales
copy once they start reading, then this is the most exciting and
important message you will ever read!
Keeping your prospects glued to your sales copy isn't easy, but
remember what I said yesterday:
The sole purpose of your first paragraph is to get you to read
your second paragraph. And being the smart marketer you are, you
therefore "automatically" know, the purpose of your second
paragraph is...
Correct!
The purpose of the second paragraph is to get you to read the
third paragraph.
Good going there sunshine -- no need to bring you back from the
dead -- at least not yet anyway.
So today we'll look at the second paragraph of our mock display
ad.
Again, you can check out that original ad (and even print out a
copy of it) right here:
http://www.kingofcopy.com/tips/real_estate_ad_071505.htm
The second paragraph says, "We have developed a completely
unique real esate system which not only helps our agents easily
earn over $100,000 a year, but also pro-vides exceptional
service for our many clients."
Good things about this: BLuntly, any goodness this paragraph
delivers is completely submarined by the one completely stupid
and amateurish move this writer made.
And here it is:
As soon as you started saying "WE have developed", your
immediately started raising your prospects "bullshit" detector.
See, right away, your telling them...
THIS IS A SALES PITCH!
Which completely nullifies anything going on that's actually
good here.
When you write your sales copy, although there are exceptions to
the rule (like when you're telling a story about yourself, for
example), you want to write this glowing review about your
product, as if it was coming from an unbiased and neutral third
party -- someone with NO vested interest.
Also, I'm not sure "providing exceptional service" is something
that's a primary benefit to realtors who may be interested in
this product.
It may be a benefit, but it's probably not something you'd
highlight in your display ad.
Here's something I might say instead:
"You see, an amazing new prospecting system has recently been
developed that totally turns the tables on your sellers and
buyers. Instead of worrying about where you're going to find
your next seller, using this system, your sellers end up being
the one's HOPING to find you!"
And so, from the beginning, your copy so far, would read like
this:
"If you are a highly motivated real estate agent with a burning
desire to increase your commissions by at least $100,000 dollars
in the next six months -- regardless of what level you're at now
-- and if you're sick and tired of dealing with buyers and
sellers who really aren't as sincere as you felt they were
up-front... and you've had it "up to here" with people trying to
whittle your commissions down to practically nothing... then
this is the most exciting and important message you will ever
read!
You see, an amazing new prospecting system has recently been
developed that totally turns the tables on your sellers and
buyers. Instead of worrying about where you're going to find
your next seller, using this system, the sellers end up being
the one's hoping to find you!"
Tomorrow we'll check out how to continue on with this paragraph,
and we'll see what else you must include in your sales pitches,
so they're a little more convincing than those beauty pageant
contestants who all say "World Peace" whenever they're asked
what their one wish is.
If you check out this tip online, you'll be able to see the
italics and emphasis I've placed on certain words for pausing
and sounding purposes.
You can see that here:
http://tinyurl.com/98ojw
Now go sell something,
Craig Garber http://www.KingOfCopy.com
P.S. Check out all the prior archives you've been
missing, right here at:
http://www.kingofcopy.com/tips/tiparchives.html