Three Simple Tips For A Healthy And Happier Family
What is family? Check any dictionary and you'll define family as
a group of persons sharing common ancestry. But a family is so
much more than a simple biological relation to another person. A
family can also be two or more people who share goals and values
and have long-term commitments to one another.
At its core, a family is a social group that must be nurtured
and maintained in order to grow and thrive. As with all social
groups, communication and interaction in the form of a communal
gathering are integral to survival.
The concept of the family gathering has been in existence for
millennia. It's not a modern creation but rooted in the
traditions and histories of our own particular cultures and
ancestry. A family gathering, whether it's a daily shared meal,
a special gathering over the holidays or Sunday visits with
grandparents, has an impact on the development of our family
units and us as individuals within the unit.
Family gatherings are the cornerstone of successful and happy
families and we all need to work to include communal activities
as part of our daily family routine. The gathering does not have
to be a formal affair that includes every cousin, Aunt or Uncle
you have. A simple meal together with your immediate family unit
can provide a vehicle for communication that otherwise may not
get to be expressed.
Let's gather at Oliver's home:
Oliver, at ten, is the oldest of three children. He has a 4-year
old sister and a 5-year old brother. Oliver is a warm and
friendly child with a gentle nature. Never one to antagonize his
peers, Oliver has become increasingly aggressive and
confrontational with his peers. Over a six month period,
Oliver's behavior has deteriorated to the point where he became
isolated from his peers - his play dates have virtually
disappeared and he spends most of his weekends sitting in front
of his Nintendo playing by himself, rather than engaging in
activities with his siblings. Both Mom and Dad noticed a change
in his behavior yet attempts to discuss the matter with Oliver
were met with "I don't know" replies.
When Oliver's deteriorating behavior began to translate to his
school work, Mom and Dad's anxiety over the welfare of their
child reached critical levels and they sought help.
Through individual and group sessions, it was discovered that a
vital piece of the family dynamic was missing from the portrait.
With a young and growing family, Dad works until 7-8 pm each
evening. Mom usually has dinner on the table @ 6pm but does not
dine with them, preferring to wait until her husband returns.
Due to Dad's hours, Dad rarely has dinner with his family. In
fact, they almost never had a meal as a family.
Oliver is at a critical stage in his development when he will
slowly explore his independence from his family. It is important
that the comfort of home and the closeness of the family
continue to engage Oliver and provide him with guidance and
direction as he moves into his teenage years.
Oliver's deteriorating behavior is a warning signal that he is
reacting to a family unit that he was not particularly connected
to and that he was losing interest and direction.
To re-engage Oliver in the family, Mom and Dad began a regular
family meal each evening, allowing that time to be a place where
all could vent and discuss the events of their day and any other
issues etc that they felt they needed to share. Not only did the
regular meals allow Oliver the opportunity to share his life, it
also allowed him to make his parents aware of homework
challenges and together they worked to clarify difficult
concepts and engaged in extra practice homework.
Having a supportive and loving forum that all members of the
family had a lasting impact - deepening their relationships and
increasing their self-confidence.
Here are three simple tips you can use today to increase Family
Happiness:
1. Assess - Take a look at your family know each ones
strengths/weakness
2. Connect - Be aware of how connected your family is to each
other
3. Construct - A forum for your family to share feelings and
issues on a regular basis