Valentine's Day: A Funny Valentine Poem
Valentine's Day: A Funny Valentine Poem
This rhyming Valentine's Day poem, "Since My Valentine Got A
Computer," takes a light-hearted look at Internet addiction.
Since My Valentine Got A Computer
Since my Valentine got a computer,
My love life has taken a
hit.
Nothing I say is important,
Unless it's a byte or a
bit.
Before she got her new laptop,
Everything was just fine;
Now she says we can't talk
Unless we both go online.
"But honey," I said, "I'm attached to you;
Love is what I
feel."
"That keyword isn't relevant,"
She said, with
eyes of steel.
She clicked the keyboard furiously;
The screen was all she
could see,
And then to my horror and shame,
She started
describing me:
"Your motherboard needs upgrading;
Your OS needs help,
too.
And you definitely need a big heatsink
To cool your
CPU."
"Don't flame me, my sweet," I pleaded.
"Not on Valentine's
Day."
"Fix the bugs, and I'll see," she said,
While
looking at me with dismay.
"What ever you want, my darling;
Whatever you need; you call
it.
I'll upload or download anything,
And then I'll go
install it."
(Her hostile CD keeps replaying,
And though I don't want to
fight her,
Is this what I want for a Valentine?
I've
been burned; can I rewrite her?)
"Are you all hard drive now," I asked;
"Is there no software
in you?
Don't you remember the good times?
Let our
memories see us through."
"LOL," she said to me, chuckling.
"You're nothing but
adware.
I've got a gig of memory;
I've got no problem
there."
"Please, honey, we can save it," I said.
"Our love means
more than that."
"That's not in my cache; we're going to
crash,"
She said, as she turned me down flat.
(This woman has really changed;
Do I really want to chase
her?
More and more I'm thinking
It might be nice to
erase her.)
"Aw, honey, don't talk like that," I said.
"Can't we just
plug and play?
I hereby accept default,
And I'm yours,
my love, come what may.
"My goal is to make you happy;
I want to be your portal,
But your sudden, distant coldness
Would test the strongest
mortal.
"If we need a brand new interface,
So we can FTP,
I'm
your go along, get along guy,
And I want you to stay with
me."
"If you want to get into my favorites," she said,
And you
want to get past my encryption,
If you want to get through
my firewall,
Here is my only prescription.
"First, put up your own Web site,
And e-mail me when it's
done.
I'll check your page rank with Google,
And tell
you if you're the one."
My life has become quite a trial,
Since my Valentine got a
computer.
If I want her to care about me again,
I guess
I'll have to reboot her.
By J. Fuchs
www.poemsource.com
Computer poems fly around the Internet in a flash, so please
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Copyright 2006 by Joanna Fuchs