Separation Anxiety
It's tough to handle. One day, you have a perfectly happy,
social baby, who knows no strangers. The next day, she won't
tolerate anyone but you. Sometimes, not even her father. It's
separation anxiety, and it is perfectly normal. And, it's
temporary, so no need to fret.
Separation anxiety usually comes in two forms - daytime -
meaning your child doesn't like strangers and only wants you,
and nighttime, when your child has restless sleep because of
being separated from you.
Nighttime separation can be easier to alleviate, since there is
not a fear of a stranger, just the fear of being away from you.
If your child who used to sleep through the night starts waking
up regularly at around one year of age, it's probably separation
anxiety. Try spending a little extra time with him just before
bedtime, rocking, singing or cuddling. Give him your undivided
attention for half an hour and you may find that he sleeps
better during the night. This is particularly important on days
when he has been away from you most of the day.
Separation anxiety during the day is a combination of not wanted
to be separated and a fear of strangers, even when the strangers
aren't really strangers at all. In particular, your baby
probably raises quite a fuss when you decide to leave him with a
sitter. One thing you need to realize is that this is partly a
manipulation tactic, and partly just because he is so attached
to you that he never wants you to leave. More than likely the
crying stops the minute you are out of sight, because your
little one realizes that there is no further point in crying,
because his audience is gone.
There are a few things you can do to make this parting easier.
The first is to always have the sitter come a little while
before you have to leave. Not only does this give you a little
time to get ready, but it allows the baby to get comfortable
with his caretaker. The second and most important thing is to
always say goodbye to your child. Trying to sneak out to avoid
the fuss will only cause more harm in the long run. Your baby
might come to think that you could leave at any moment with no
warning. Thirdly, don't make a long ordeal of leaving. Tell your
baby goodbye, kiss him and remind him that you'll be home soon
and he'll have fun with the sitter for a little while. Then
leave. Don't keep coming back in to calm him. Just leave. The
longer you let it go on, the more hysterical he'll become.
Separation anxiety generally lasts for a few months, and then
fades away. It is a normal stage of development, and though it
can be heart wrenching for you, it is a sign of healthy
emotional development, because it is a sign of bonding. So, take
a deep breath, and go on a date with your husband. It's good for
everyone involved!