Five Tips for Handling ADHD In Your Family
Having more than one child is a challenge. Okay, having one
child is a challenge, having two or more is a monumental
challenge. When one of those children (or more than one) has
ADHD, the challenge multiplies exponentially. Below are some
tips for handling ADHD in the family.
1. Be fair to all of your children. This means treating the ADHD
child as equally as possible, of course. It also means treating
the non-ADHD children fairly. Sometimes I let my son get away
with things I shouldn't because I know he's having a bad day.
That's okay, I think, as long as I'm willing to make the same
allowances for my daughter, who doesn't have ADHD. Alternately,
sometimes I'm harder on my son and react more strongly, because
his ADHD makes him harder to cope with some days. It's a matter
of finding balance and being fair.
2. Talk to all of your children about ADHD, not just the one who
has it. My daughter was a toddler when my son was diagnosed with
ADHD, but as she got older, we began talking with her about
Jack's ADHD and what it meant. She understands a little more
now, and when we make allowances about something because of his
ADHD, we explain that and make allowances for her in another
area, coming back to Tip 1 and being fair.
3. Don't talk to your ADHD child about his problems in front of
his siblings. The exception to this would be at a family meeting
when you're talking about issues related to fairness, equal
treatment or helping the ADHD child cope with his disability.
4. Make sure your ADHD child is doing what he's supposed to be
doing, treatment-wise. If you've decided to take the medication
route, set up a routine and make sure he follows it. My ADHD son
doesn't wake up very well, so I lay out his medicine and
toothbrush right before we put on shoes to go to the bus, and I
stand there while he takes it. At 10, this is a good solution
for him. At 16, it might not work so well. Similarly, if you've
decided to use diet or coping strategies to deal with your
child's ADHD instead of or in addition to medication, make sure
your child is doing what you've laid out for him to do.
5. As parents, present a united front, with your ADD and
non-ADHD kids alike. My husband and I don't always agree on
everything related to our kids. Sometimes I say things I
shouldn't, and sometimes I disagree with how he handles
something. We never say this in front of the kids. If we
absolutely must correct the other, we say something like, "Maybe
we could..." or "Maybe your mom should have said..." but we
don't argue about the kids in front of the kids. This is a
crucial tip for raising an ADHD kid, because they notice and
react ot everything.