Five Tips for Handling ADHD In Your Family

Having more than one child is a challenge. Okay, having one child is a challenge, having two or more is a monumental challenge. When one of those children (or more than one) has ADHD, the challenge multiplies exponentially. Below are some tips for handling ADHD in the family. 1. Be fair to all of your children. This means treating the ADHD child as equally as possible, of course. It also means treating the non-ADHD children fairly. Sometimes I let my son get away with things I shouldn't because I know he's having a bad day. That's okay, I think, as long as I'm willing to make the same allowances for my daughter, who doesn't have ADHD. Alternately, sometimes I'm harder on my son and react more strongly, because his ADHD makes him harder to cope with some days. It's a matter of finding balance and being fair. 2. Talk to all of your children about ADHD, not just the one who has it. My daughter was a toddler when my son was diagnosed with ADHD, but as she got older, we began talking with her about Jack's ADHD and what it meant. She understands a little more now, and when we make allowances about something because of his ADHD, we explain that and make allowances for her in another area, coming back to Tip 1 and being fair. 3. Don't talk to your ADHD child about his problems in front of his siblings. The exception to this would be at a family meeting when you're talking about issues related to fairness, equal treatment or helping the ADHD child cope with his disability. 4. Make sure your ADHD child is doing what he's supposed to be doing, treatment-wise. If you've decided to take the medication route, set up a routine and make sure he follows it. My ADHD son doesn't wake up very well, so I lay out his medicine and toothbrush right before we put on shoes to go to the bus, and I stand there while he takes it. At 10, this is a good solution for him. At 16, it might not work so well. Similarly, if you've decided to use diet or coping strategies to deal with your child's ADHD instead of or in addition to medication, make sure your child is doing what you've laid out for him to do. 5. As parents, present a united front, with your ADD and non-ADHD kids alike. My husband and I don't always agree on everything related to our kids. Sometimes I say things I shouldn't, and sometimes I disagree with how he handles something. We never say this in front of the kids. If we absolutely must correct the other, we say something like, "Maybe we could..." or "Maybe your mom should have said..." but we don't argue about the kids in front of the kids. This is a crucial tip for raising an ADHD kid, because they notice and react ot everything.