Are you ready for Marriage Counseling?
So you have come to the decision that in order to save your
marriage or at the very least improve it, you need to get some
professional help in the form of counseling.
This is obviously not a step to be taken lightly and in many
cases one partner desires the counseling more than the other. It
is important that the partner who is least keen on undertaking a
marriage counseling program is at least prepared to be open to
attending the sessions, listening and ultimately to open up and
share. Counseling of any description can be a confronting,
uncomfortable and in some cases a hurtful experience. The
counselor will often touch on or bring up things that in many
ways you would rather stayed buried.
It is important that the marriage counseling that you receive is
from someone you feel comfortable with and trust. As far as you
are able, check the credentials of the person who will be
counseling you. It is also important to be clear in your mind as
to what you wish to achieve out of the counseling. Ask yourself,
why do I want counseling? What do I hope to achieve? What am I
willing to put into the sessions?
Some people who undergo marriage counseling, even some of those
who instigate the counseling are not actually willing to change
themselves. They are in blame mode, they want their partner or
environment or circumstances to change and cannot see that in
order for the relationship to work, they need to change also.
Change can create anxiety as it will often involve moving
outside one's comfort zone. A good counselor will recognize this
type of person and guide them through the process of making the
necessary changes.
We live in a world where many of us demand instant
gratification. Many people are unwilling to go through a process
which will take time and need to be persuaded that the time and
money expended and in some cases the pain experienced will be
worth it in the long run. It important to realize that your
problems probably didn't happen all at once and as such it is
going to take time and commitment to resolve them.
The final factor to successful marriage counseling is having the
faith that whatever issues you are experiencing can be overcome
if you truly want them to be. What is the point of exposing
yourself if you do not believe that things can improve? This is
not to say that counseling will necessarily keep the marriage
together. In some cases marriage counseling can be a useful tool
in helping a couple to see that there is little point in staying
together. Perhaps there is just too much baggage or perhaps the
realization comes that you are completely incompatible.
Whatever the situation, it is important to be involved in the
counseling process, show commitment and willingness to make
changes that may be necessary to an ongoing and fulfilling
relationship, be patient and have faith in yourself.