Morning Chaos

When Miguel De Cervantes (the creator of Don Quixote) wrote "To be prepared is half the victory", I don't think he had kids and mornings in mind. With the number of single parents increasing every day, we need to step up and take command so that each morning is not an all-out war in our households. The way I see it, we have three parts to a successful mission...recon-naissance, preliminary assault, and an all-out attack. Let's start with the recon mission. For our purposes, we will define reconnaissance as an exploration of a situation, especially one made to gather information. We will also do it in two stages. The first stage will be making sure we have all of the supplies we need to accomplish the mission. The second stage will be setting the scene for the mission (also referred to as the drop zone) and making checklists to ensure everyone knows their part. Stage one involves an overall assessment. Let's get busy with answering some questions. Do each of your kids have alarm clocks in their bedrooms? Especially nice are the ones that play CDs so they can wake to their favorite music? Is there a master calendar posted somewhere? You may also want one you can carry with you to work or in your car? Is there a message board posted for important updates? Do each of your kids have at least one backpack? Do you have a separate backpack for each activity the kids are involved in? Do you have breakfast items from the grocery Think grab and go ~ fruit, breakfast bars, frozen yogurt, string cheese, etc.? If you have small kids, do you have an extra diaper bag packed and ready to go at all times? Do you have pegs or hooks by the exit door for hanging jackets, umbrellas and backpacks? If any of these are missing from your home, make a list and get to the store ASAP. Stage two starts with setting up the drop zone. This is the area where book bags, diaper bags, jackets, etc. will be stashed the night before. This needs to be a convenient location by the exit door. You need to hang those pegs or hooks you just bought at the store where they are easy for the kids to reach. They will be hanging up their backpacks, jackets, umbrellas, etc. Also set up an area in the drop zone where kids are responsible for putting things that you need to review or sign for school the next day. And the central calendar should be located near this area as well. You are responsible for putting things on the central calendar. These will include days off from school, major events, exams, tests, projects, field trips, class parties, awards banquets, concerts, field days, and more. Don't forget to put a planning date on the calendar for the event and if you need to take or do something for it. On the event date, add a list of extra things the kid needs to take to school with them as well. This calendar will need to be reviewed daily and important things added to the message board. Message boards can be handled in two different ways. A dry erase board works great for some! You could use one for all of the kids or put one for each of the kids in their own bedrooms. This might depend on how old the kids are and on how responsible each kid is (some may need some help remembering). Daily checklists need to be made for each member of the family. Remember, everyone has responsibility for success of the mission. These checklists need to include all regular household chores and extra things to pack for school on certain days. A checklist for younger kids might include brushing teeth, washing face and hands, combing hair, getting dressed, eating breakfast, putting on shoes. This list includes things that are the same every morning. Older kids might need less instruction. These need to be posted in the bedroom of each kid. For younger kids, pictures with the words beside them work best. It is a good idea to get input from the kids in coming up with what needs to be on the list and the order of the list. Some ideas for nighttime checklists include: shower/bath before bed (unless your kid is older and can get done quickly in the morning), kids need to lay out clothes (don't forget socks, belts, barrettes, hats, jewelry and shoes), have homework checked, kids pack backpacks. You may need to list for them what they need to put in their backpack, such as homework, band instrument, gym clothes, library books, permission slips, etc. We leave shoes by the exit door so they are ready every morning. After a while, you may no longer need the lists. Have the kids pack a separate backpack for each activity they are involved in. You will want to check to be sure everything has been included, and it is a good idea to make a list of all that needs to be included for future reference. This way things are less hectic when it is time for ballet, sports, art lessons, etc. You will need to clearly label each backpack so they do not get mixed up. These backpacks get put by the exit door along with everything else they need for the next day. Kids will also need to make lunches or snacks and store them in the fridge for morning, make sure all alarm clocks are set correctly and ready to go. Don't forget some responsibilities (otherwise known as household chores). Everyone needs to chip in no matter whether they live there all of the time or just every other weekend. These need to be age appropriate like brushing the dog, feeding the fish, washing dishes, etc. Do not make them tasks that you do not like to do just so you can get someone else to do them. These are your kids, not your employees. Photocopy checklists or put them on the computer so they can be reprinted. They may mysteriously disappear from time to time or get worn out. If you have your checklists made, you are now ready for the preliminary assault. A few notes for you as the kids follow their checklists: 1) if your kids do not normally pack lunches for school, you will need to make sure you have lunch money (maybe you should start saving those one dollar bills when you buy stuff for future lunch money) and put it into the backpacks, 2) put your keys where they can be easily found, 3) it may be helpful to set an alarm clock in the drop zone that will go off when you have five minutes (last call) before walking out the door, and 4) offer encouragement often. Whew! You are probably exhausted from all of the preparation and the preliminary assault. If you've done your homework, the all-out assault should be easy. Here are four tips which may make it easier for you: 1) no TV in the morning, 2) follow the morning checklist (you may want one for yourself also), 3) take no prisoners (If this means they wear pajamas to school if they're not dressed and ready to go, it probably won't happen more than once after they realize your are serious. You can pack school clothes in a grocery bag and they can change at school.), and 4) most importantly, hug and kiss the kids goodbye. Part of a parent's responsibility is to teach kids to meet obligations and even though it isn't easy, it's worth it in the long run. It can take a lot of courage to let your kid be unhappy from time to time. It can also take a lot to admit your plan needs revising. Don't be too stubborn to make changes from time to time ~ the best leader listens to his troops and makes adjusting. Good luck, but most of all have fun! 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