Morning Chaos
When Miguel De Cervantes (the creator of Don Quixote) wrote "To
be prepared is half the victory", I don't think he had kids and
mornings in mind. With the number of single parents increasing
every day, we need to step up and take command so that each
morning is not an all-out war in our households. The way I see
it, we have three parts to a successful
mission...recon-naissance, preliminary assault, and an all-out
attack.
Let's start with the recon mission. For our purposes, we will
define reconnaissance as an exploration of a situation,
especially one made to gather information. We will also do it in
two stages. The first stage will be making sure we have all of
the supplies we need to accomplish the mission. The second stage
will be setting the scene for the mission (also referred to as
the drop zone) and making checklists to ensure everyone knows
their part.
Stage one involves an overall assessment. Let's get busy with
answering some questions. Do each of your kids have alarm clocks
in their bedrooms? Especially nice are the ones that play CDs so
they can wake to their favorite music? Is there a master
calendar posted somewhere? You may also want one you can carry
with you to work or in your car? Is there a message board posted
for important updates? Do each of your kids have at least one
backpack? Do you have a separate backpack for each activity the
kids are involved in? Do you have breakfast items from the
grocery Think grab and go ~ fruit, breakfast bars, frozen
yogurt, string cheese, etc.? If you have small kids, do you have
an extra diaper bag packed and ready to go at all times? Do you
have pegs or hooks by the exit door for hanging jackets,
umbrellas and backpacks? If any of these are missing from your
home, make a list and get to the store ASAP.
Stage two starts with setting up the drop zone. This is the area
where book bags, diaper bags, jackets, etc. will be stashed the
night before. This needs to be a convenient location by the exit
door. You need to hang those pegs or hooks you just bought at
the store where they are easy for the kids to reach. They will
be hanging up their backpacks, jackets, umbrellas, etc. Also set
up an area in the drop zone where kids are responsible for
putting things that you need to review or sign for school the
next day. And the central calendar should be located near this
area as well. You are responsible for putting things on the
central calendar. These will include days off from school, major
events, exams, tests, projects, field trips, class parties,
awards banquets, concerts, field days, and more. Don't forget to
put a planning date on the calendar for the event and if you
need to take or do something for it. On the event date, add a
list of extra things the kid needs to take to school with them
as well. This calendar will need to be reviewed daily and
important things added to the message board. Message boards can
be handled in two different ways. A dry erase board works great
for some! You could use one for all of the kids or put one for
each of the kids in their own bedrooms. This might depend on how
old the kids are and on how responsible each kid is (some may
need some help remembering).
Daily checklists need to be made for each member of the family.
Remember, everyone has responsibility for success of the
mission. These checklists need to include all regular household
chores and extra things to pack for school on certain days. A
checklist for younger kids might include brushing teeth, washing
face and hands, combing hair, getting dressed, eating breakfast,
putting on shoes. This list includes things that are the same
every morning. Older kids might need less instruction. These
need to be posted in the bedroom of each kid. For younger kids,
pictures with the words beside them work best. It is a good idea
to get input from the kids in coming up with what needs to be on
the list and the order of the list. Some ideas for nighttime
checklists include: shower/bath before bed (unless your kid is
older and can get done quickly in the morning), kids need to lay
out clothes (don't forget socks, belts, barrettes, hats, jewelry
and shoes), have homework checked, kids pack backpacks. You may
need to list for them what they need to put in their backpack,
such as homework, band instrument, gym clothes, library books,
permission slips, etc. We leave shoes by the exit door so they
are ready every morning. After a while, you may no longer need
the lists. Have the kids pack a separate backpack for each
activity they are involved in. You will want to check to be sure
everything has been included, and it is a good idea to make a
list of all that needs to be included for future reference. This
way things are less hectic when it is time for ballet, sports,
art lessons, etc. You will need to clearly label each backpack
so they do not get mixed up. These backpacks get put by the exit
door along with everything else they need for the next day. Kids
will also need to make lunches or snacks and store them in the
fridge for morning, make sure all alarm clocks are set correctly
and ready to go.
Don't forget some responsibilities (otherwise known as household
chores). Everyone needs to chip in no matter whether they live
there all of the time or just every other weekend. These need to
be age appropriate like brushing the dog, feeding the fish,
washing dishes, etc. Do not make them tasks that you do not like
to do just so you can get someone else to do them. These are
your kids, not your employees. Photocopy checklists or put them
on the computer so they can be reprinted. They may mysteriously
disappear from time to time or get worn out.
If you have your checklists made, you are now ready for the
preliminary assault. A few notes for you as the kids follow
their checklists: 1) if your kids do not normally pack lunches
for school, you will need to make sure you have lunch money
(maybe you should start saving those one dollar bills when you
buy stuff for future lunch money) and put it into the backpacks,
2) put your keys where they can be easily found, 3) it may be
helpful to set an alarm clock in the drop zone that will go off
when you have five minutes (last call) before walking out the
door, and 4) offer encouragement often.
Whew! You are probably exhausted from all of the preparation and
the preliminary assault. If you've done your homework, the
all-out assault should be easy. Here are four tips which may
make it easier for you: 1) no TV in the morning, 2) follow the
morning checklist (you may want one for yourself also), 3) take
no prisoners (If this means they wear pajamas to school if
they're not dressed and ready to go, it probably won't happen
more than once after they realize your are serious. You can pack
school clothes in a grocery bag and they can change at school.),
and 4) most importantly, hug and kiss the kids goodbye.
Part of a parent's responsibility is to teach kids to meet
obligations and even though it isn't easy, it's worth it in the
long run. It can take a lot of courage to let your kid be
unhappy from time to time. It can also take a lot to admit your
plan needs revising. Don't be too stubborn to make changes from
time to time ~ the best leader listens to his troops and makes
adjusting. Good luck, but most of all have fun!
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