Life Balance: Mastery or Myth?
Copyright 2005 Ada Porat
Do a word search for life balance on Google, and it turns up
over 98 million references. That is one hot topic!
Is life balance even possible in modern society? Amid the
material wealth of the industrialized world, the struggle for
balanced living has reached pandemic proportions. Never before
in history have we had so much and enjoyed so little.
We long for balance yet take on more commitments; we dream of
bigger homes but have smaller families; we pride ourselves on
the size of our networks yet have fewer friends; we consume more
vitamins yet are in poorer health, our life force drained by
stress and anxiety. We are bombarded with information and the
constant pressure of trying to keep up. So much to do, so little
time! Clearly, our lives are over-segmented and off-balance -
and we pay the price with less satisfaction and happiness.
A recent study from www.HRlook.com says that the global
workforce has stopped striving for a healthier work-life
balance, and more than 75% of the work force feel their work
lives take priority over their personal lives.
Life balance is about choice - and the choice is yours!
To restore balance to life, you need to place enough value on
yourself to motivate you toward change. Doing a life review can
get you started in the right direction. By reviewing core areas
of life, you can clean out what no longer serves you and start
integrating the neglected aspects of life again. It enables you
to step off the treadmill of chaotic living to a life filled
with meaning and purpose.
A life review can start with an honest assessment of the core
areas of life: your work, home environment, family & friends,
spirituality, physical health, recreation and financial health.
Ask yourself what the three most stressful or unsatisfying
aspects are in each of these areas and jot them down.
You also need to know what you would like your life to look
like. In other words, what is your vision for your life and what
does life balance look like for you? Identify three aspects that
you value, or would like more of in each of the core areas.
By doing this simple exercise, you will quickly discover which
areas are in need of balance in your life - these tend to be the
areas where it hurts to look! You can add more balance to life
by eliminating even just one stressful activity, or by adding
more of something you truly enjoy.
Balanced living is not about achieving perfection in one area of
life: instead it is about finding equilibrium overall. This
holistic, integrative approach allows you to feel nurtured even
if you have to put in long work hours for work to meet a tight
deadline, because you know that you have scheduled time to
recharge with loved ones after the project is completed.
There are many different interpretations of what life balance
looks like. For some of us, an unbalanced checkbook is just
fine, while for others it violates their very existence. Each of
us needs to clarify what we need to feel balanced, and then we
need to start working towards that goal.
In helping clients look at all their responsibilities and
obligations in order to reduce or eliminate those that no longer
serve them, we also work on learning to say "no." Often, I find
that people say "yes" out of misplaced obligation or politeness,
when what they really want to do is say NO. No, they cannot
donate a Saturday to help clean up the park; no, they don't want
to sit on the homeowners' association board of directors; no,
they don't want to give up a weekend to attend a distant
relative's anniversary.
At the start of each day, every one of us receives exactly the
same allotment of time. What we do with that time, will
determine our level of satisfaction, accomplishment and success.
In choosing how to spend our time and resources, we make
decisions about how to spend energy - the primary resource of
life.
Borrowing from an old recycling slogan, I use three steps to
assist clients in the process:
1. Reduce. Do you really need this activity, item or commitment
in your environment? Do you need as much of it to feel satisfied
or secure? If not, it's time to reduce participation to make
space for more fulfilling things! A good example would be
setting boundaries to reduce the number of hours you work per
week to spend more time with loved ones.
2. Reuse. How does this activity contribute to your personal
fulfillment or quality of life? Can you adapt it to better serve
your goals? Can you get the same benefit from a different
activity? Instead of skipping gym because of being bored with
the workout routine, you can switch to a different type of
exercise that would give the same benefit without boredom.
3. Recycle. Have you outgrown this activity, item or commitment?
Perhaps it has served the purpose long ago and you have been
holding on to it out of guilt or habit! If so, it needs to go to
free up space for something more appropriate. Many social
commitments fall in this category.
When we look at life as an integrated whole, it is clear that
balance can be achieved. It ultimately is an inside job - an
inner equilibrium that enables us to flow with all the things
that happen in our changing world.