Games - What Can They Teach Kids?

Games of all kinds are played by our children from their earliest days. How many times have you heard your child ask "Will you play a game with me?" Children, especially young children, love to play games. They learn colors with Candyland and how to invest in stocks with Stock Market Tycoon! Board games teach skills such as math, spelling, memory, history and geography. But they should also teach teamwork and sportsmanship. There's nothing wrong with parents wanting their kids to be the best, but it's just as important to teach them how to lose, gracefully, and without shame. I want my child to be able to play a game, have fun, learn from it, and not feel bad because she doesn't always win. While games are meant to be entertaining, the one thing that most of them have in common is 'winning'. Winning allows us to 'prove' ourselves, but usually at the expense of the 'loser'. Don't your kids want to play one more time if they lose? Or, worse, maybe they want to quit when they realize they are going to be the loser. Too much emphasis on winning can result in what happened recently in Virginia. Many of you may have heard about Virginia schools banning the post-game handshake that has been the practice for the past 12 years. Maybe some of you think it's a good idea. But I, for one, think it is one more example of how parents, teachers, and coaches are failing our children. Sports, or any competitive game, should be fun for kids, but we also want them to learn sportsmanship. What is sportsmanship? I thought it was to play your hardest and best, and if you win, that's great. But if you lose, you congratulate the other team, and practice harder so that next time maybe you will be the winning team. Not everyone can win. Some people are just smarter, stronger, or faster than others. Maybe one team has some real advantage over the other team, and it is perceived as 'unfair'. Well, let me tell you, life is not fair. Who said it was? So instead of ending a game with a handshake and a 'Good Game', we eliminate it to prevent the bad losers and the bad winners from kicking or spitting on other players. What is this teaching our children? I'd say they learn that unacceptable behavior is acceptable - that they are not expected to behave respectably or responsibly. And then we wonder why later in life, they have difficulties on the job, can't take direction or constructive criticism. Once again, the schools took the easy way out. Obviously, the coaches don't want to do what they should have done and take a good athlete off the team for un-sportsman like behavior -that might mean his team looses the next game. What are the characteristics of good games that allow everyone to have fun and feel good even if they are not the 'winner'? Cooperative games emphasize having fun in a team effort to solve a problem or challenge, and not to simply to defeat the opponent. The focus of cooperative games is on participation and interaction and not solely on competition. To be a part of a team requires that the members learn to communicate and build trust. Team games require input from each team member, and input to the solution creates ownership of the solution. An example? The old fashioned game of Charades can be played in teams, everyone gets to participate and contribute ideas, and no individual or team feels like a real loser. The skills learned in cooperative games are those your children will use and benefit from for a lifetime. I won't say turn off the TV and take away the video games, because those forms of entertainment have their place. Kids today are smarter than ever from an earlier age, largely due to exposure to educational programming on television. And video games also can improve manual dexterity, hand/eye coordination, and teach kids to think logically. But YOU must get involved with your children if you want them to have a successful, well rounded life. Think of all they have learned from TV. There is much you DON'T want them to learn from TV! To make sure your kids are learning the values you want them to have, spend some quality time with them playing games that teach life skills, build character, and are lots of fun for both children and adults. Check out Consequences, Fib or Not, and other fun family games at the author's online gift shop, http://www.barbarasgiftsandthings.com.