Learning to Share - Conflict Resolution for Parents and
Childcare Providers
If your child is in daycare, it's likely that you'll eventually
disagree with something your childcare provider does or says.
Recognizing when to say something, and how to approach the
subject with your provider, will help maintain a positive
relationship between you and your childcare provider and a
healthy environment for your child.
The best way to resolve a conflict is to never let it happen in
the first place. Make sure you communicate with your childcare
provider, letting them know your expectations about the care you
want your child to receive. If there are things that you
absolutely want a certain way, like your child not watching any
television or eating sweets, make sure you discuss them in the
initial interview. It's also important to understand that
parents and providers can have different views regarding
appropriate ways to raise a child. Understanding that your
provider may not do things exactly as you would, but that your
child is still receiving quality care, is vital in preventing
conflict.
Despite the best communication, you still may disagree with
something your childcare provider does while caring for your
child. Try to say something as soon as you notice an issue. The
longer you let an issue go, the more chance there is for it to
grow into something bigger. Also, the sooner you address the
issue, the sooner you can resolve it and clear the air in your
relationship. Not addressing the problem right away could create
enough stress with your provider that you are not able to repair
the relationship and may need to find a new provider.
Ask your provider for a time to discuss the issue. If possible,
choose a time when you and your provider can talk without
distractions. Don't talk in the doorway with your child tugging
at your leg or when your provider is trying to manage 6
toddlers. Allowing you both to focus on the conversation will
help you hear what each other is saying and really understand
each other.
Explain your concern in simple terms, but do not accuse or blame
your provider. Use statements like, "I have a concern about how
much television Mike is watching", instead of, "You are letting
Mike watch too much television". Both statements give the same
message, but the delivery style of the first one is less
accusing and will help foster a better discussion. You are both
invested in the care of your child, and being able to discuss
any issues rationally and openly will help your child receive
quality care. Discuss the behavior that concerned you, why it
concerned you, and what you would like done to correct the
situation. Listen carefully to your provider so she can explain
her thoughts on the situation. There may be safety or logistics
reasons why your provider is doing something a certain way.
Once you have discussed the issue, restate the solution that you
both agreed on. That way, you can make sure you both understand
what the next steps are and how the issue is going to be
resolved. A question like, "Do you feel comfortable with the
solution we decided on", is a good way to make sure you both are
on the same page, and gives your provider the chance to say if
something is still bothering her.
You and your childcare provider are partners in raising your
child. Keeping good communication, and addressing any issues as
soon as they come up, are important in keeping that partnership
strong.