How To Teach Your Children Social Skills
As our children grow, they will be going to schools and
interacting with lots of different people other. For example,
friends and teachers. Hence it is necessary to teach them the
social skills that enable them to get along with others, work as
part of a group, follow rules, make and keeps friends and act
with confidence. These abilities also help our children to build
good character.
Families have a profound influence on the early development of
our children social abilities and skills. If they enjoy love,
warming relationship with parents, siblings, grandparents and
other relationships, they will have a strong foundation in form
good relationship with other people. They will be more
understanding about how other people feel and have the ability
to treat other the way they want and how they should be treated
by others. Families have a profound influence on the early
development of our children social abilities and skills. If they
enjoy love, warming relationship with parents, siblings,
grandparents and other relationships, they will have a strong
foundation in form good relationship with other people. They
will be more understanding about how other people feel and have
the ability to treat other the way they want and how they should
be treated by others.
To help children acquire the basic social behavior, parents must
set the proper expectation, rules, rewards and punishment
associated with those rules and more important set themselves as
good examples for their children. Your children learn by
observing what you as their parents do and how you behave in
your daily life - e.g. how you treat and interact with your
spouse, eldest and friends. As they begin interact with others,
your kids will model their behavior on actions he has witnessed
at home.
Following are some of the important social skills that you will
want to work with your children:
Learning that Others Have Their Own Views and Feelings
I have seemed adults hold very strong views about certainly
things and they try to impose their views onto others. This
often results in tension and uneasiness in the relationship. It
is not something healthy.
It is important for parents to teach their children from young
that others have their own opinions and feelings. They need to
learn to respect them and know that it is perfectly okay for
people to have different views. With this understanding,
children can then begin to develop empathy - the ability to
discern and share another's feelings or ideas. It is the ability
to put themselves into some else's shoe that make them willing
to share, take turns, cooperate and treat their friends with
kindness and respect.
Preschoolers usually do not have a clear sense of empathy.
However you can help them begin to understand by talking about
other people's thoughts and feelings. At home, I teach my
preschool daughter empathy by asking her question such as:
"How do you think Sarah will feel if someone takes her toys
without asking her permission?" "How mummy and daddy will feel
if you hurt yourself?" "How would you feel if none of your
friend didn't ask you to join them when they are playing?"
Often she will provide a sensible answer and follow by the
proper action. When parents practice these often and long enough
with their children, they will form the habit of being
empathetic and sensible children who are welcome and love by
their friends.
Recognize Rules
We need to help our children know that they are certain rules of
proper social behaviors. For example, no hitting of others, no
cutting of queue, wait for others to finish talking before they
can talk, ask for permission if they want to take something that
doesn't belong to them etc.
Sharing
Sharing does not come automatically to most young children.
Often they learn this skill by observing their parents.
I know of some parents who in general are not very generous with
their things. And their young children demonstrate this selfish
characteristic very clearly when they interact with their
playmate. For example, I have observe some of children refusing
to share their toys when they are playing with their friends,
quickly and quietly keep all the good things for themselves and
leave the not so good ones for their friends etc - they all have
not so generous parents.
If we want to make friends and build good relationship with
others, we need to be generous. Generosity does not have to be
related to material things; it can be sharing of love and care,
ideas, knowledge etc. At home, I often share this teaching with
my loved ones include our young children
"The more we share, the more we get"
Taking Turns
Taking turn is one form of sharing that requires little children
to do something hard - wait. It is important to practice this
because there are plenty of turn takings in school - waiting to
answer until the teacher calls, waiting for their turn to touch
the rabbit in the science concern, waiting for their turn to
play with an interesting gadget etc.
Respecting Others' Properties
In school, your kids will be surrounded by many children with
their own things such as books, stationary, toys, food etc. They
need to learn how to treat their friends' things and handle them
with care when their friends lend anything to them. And parents
must teach their children the proper way of making a request if
they want to borrow something from others and how to show their
appreciation if their wishes are granted. Teach them the proper
use of words like "May I...", "please" and "thank you"
Working With Others
Help your children learn to cooperate and help out their friends
in schools or when they are in a project team. The best way to
teach them at home is to get them to share the work of family
chores and housework. Get your children to help you tidy-up up
the rooms; help you to clean the table after meals etc. Tell
them that they belong to the family and it is important for them
to help in keeping the house clean so that everyone can enjoy a
good environment. And when they help out, they will have more
time from mummy and daddy reading and playing with them - this
method works very well in our home.
Being Polite
Children are more apt to get off to a good start in school and
be more confident of their own social skills if they learned to
treat others with courtesy. Teach your children to say words
like "please", "thank you", "yes Sir/ Madam" etc.
Social skills emerge slowly in children. Parents need to
persevere in teaching them. Often you'll have to go over rules
again and again, talk to your children many times about the
right and proper way to behave and treat others. Children need
to be guided and reminded and corrected - no matter how well
disposed they are.