What Causes Separation Anxiety in Children?
While it can be comical, heart-breaking or occasionally even
maddening, there is a perfectly logical explanation for
Separation Anxiety in children. As a new parent, you probably
enjoyed watching your child progress through the recognizable
stages of development. In fact, you and your friends probably
got together and compared these stages. How old were the babies
when they first recognized you? When they rolled over for the
first time? (Of course, your baby probably did these things
significantly early and has already proven to be a genius!)
Despite your child's obviously superior intellect, you can
generally expect the stages of development to happen in a
certain order and at a reasonably predictable rate. This means
that Separation Anxiety in children can be anticipated to appear
around eight or nine months of age and to persist at varying
degrees as the child becomes a toddler. Until this point, pretty
much every object, situation and experience has been a new
revelation for the baby, and rather than being shocked by the
newness of it all, it is seen as typical to constantly be
encountering the unusual. Over those first several months, the
baby learns to associate the primary caregiver(s) with safety
and security.
The development of Separation Anxiety in children corresponds
not only to the recognition of caregivers as "safe," but also to
the beginnings of children's mobility. In the animal kingdom,
most babies must be able to walk shortly after birth, and just
watching a new calf or duckling that has been separated from its
mother will demonstrate that they are also born (or hatched, as
the case may be) with an ingrained sense of Separation Anxiety.
Humans develop it around the same time that we are learning to
toddle about under our own power. The instinctual desire to
return to the caregiver keeps us from wandering too far.
So, while many parents worry about causing some sort of
emotional disorder in their children by attending "Girls' Night
Out" or some equivalent non-baby-inclusive event, it is
important to remember that Separation Anxiety in children is a
necessary stage in the development of these little people. In
fact, a complete lack of Separation Anxiety may be cause for
concern, as it helps keep us safe. Of course, that knowledge
doesn't make it any easier to leave a tearful toddler at daycare
or to convince a clinging preschooler to get out of the minivan
in the morning.
In addition to your child's natural progression through the
stages of development, there are a few factors that can
contribute to the anxiety. For example, if the child is
particularly tired, he or she may exhibit more anxiety-induced
behaviors. Major changes in the child's daily routine, such as a
new nanny or a new routine at daycare, can also increase the
child's discomfort and cause a reaction. Family changes can
bring about anxiety, as well, so the addition of a new sibling
or a death, divorce or illness in the family can trigger
Separation Anxiety in children.