An Introduction to Separation Anxiety in Children-What You Need
To Know!
Separation Anxiety in children is to be expected as babies and
toddlers adjust to the world around them. They have determined
that their parents or caregivers are a source of security, and
therefore being deprived of that security distresses them.
Concern at being separated from Mom or Dad is typical in
toddlers up to about three years of age. The anxiety
demonstrates that the child has formed a healthy attachment to
the caregiver.
The behaviors that result from Separation Anxiety in children
generally include crying when the parent or parents leave and
clinging to them when they return. The anxiety usually lasts for
a few minutes, but it may resurface when the parent returns, as
the child remembers how upsetting it was when the parent left in
the first place. Children may also become very quiet and refuse
to interact with the people around them, even if they are
familiar with those people. In some cases, a child may "punish"
the parents upon return by ignoring or hitting them. It is even
possible for children to develop physical symptoms as a result
of their anxiety. Headaches, stomachaches and muscle pain are
all common.
While a child is feeling anxiety over a separation, the response
is likely causing distress for the parent as well. The adults
need to remind themselves that despite the child's fear and
concern, they are in a safe environment with people who will
care for them. It can be difficult, but it is a necessary step
in the toddler or preschooler's development. The act of leaving
the child with a trusted person helps him or her have confidence
that the parent will return. It also helps children to develop a
sense of their individual identities and to recognize that they
are separate beings from their parents.
This phase of a child's development generally appears late in
his or her first year and persists for the next two years.
However, some children may display signs longer than others. The
negative behaviors or physical symptoms are most likely to
reappear when a child is home for an extended period of time,
like a school holiday, and must then return to daycare or
school. It is not unlikely for a child to revert to such
behaviors after a traumatic event, such as the death of a loved
one or the parents divorcing.
Separation Anxiety in children also becomes more acute it they
become ill or are hospitalized. Parents should make every effort
to be with their children during any medical procedure. An
absence can cause a serious increase a child's anxiety and will
lead to greater pain and possibly a longer recovery. When the
parent can not be present, the child should know where he or she
will be and should be reassured that they will be reunited.
A certain amount of Separation Anxiety is to be expected, and is
even an integral part of a child's development. Occasionally, a
child may exhibit extreme behavior or it may continue or worsen
as the child gets older. A child who calls home repeatedly from
school because he is worried that something has happened to his
parents or who refuses to go to sleepovers (or even school) due
to fear of harm to his parents or himself may have developed
Separation Anxiety Disorder. This disorder can be debilitating,
but it is treatable. In general, Separation Anxiety in children
causes a fair amount of distress, but it is simply a phase of
development that leads to stronger, healthier children.