Ten Tips to Help Your Picky Eater
If you have a picky eater, mealtime may make you feel like you
want to pull your hair out. It is very frustrating for parents
to watch their child only fiddle with their food at dinner or
not even touch it, claiming "I don't like it." Then what
happens? An hour later, guess who is coming to you saying, "I'm
hungry." You guessed it. Your little picky eater. Jamie's mother
was concerned about her lack of interest in food. She told me,
"Jamie never wants to eat anything I fix for dinner. What can I
do to encourage Jamie to eat the meals that I have prepared?" I
provided her with the following ten tips. You may find them
useful as well.
TIP: Involve Jamie. You could have Jamie help with planning the
menu or meal preparation. Kids are less likely to "turn up their
nose" at something, they had a hand in.
TIP: Place a limit on Jamie. "Jamie, I will be serving breakfast
at 7:00 a.m. Eat enough to make it to then. You decide how much
you will need. Oh! We will be clearing the table in _____
minutes."
When Jamie comes to you later that evening complaining of being
hungry. With an understanding tone, simply remind her that you
will be serving breakfast at 7:00 a.m. as usual. Jamie will most
likely be persistent about getting something else to eat. It is
important that you follow through with the limit you have
placed. Otherwise, Jamie learns that you do not mean what you
say and you lose your credibility with her. You may have to tell
her several times that you will be "serving breakfast at 7:00"
until she realizes that your are not going to give in.
Jamie: "Mom I'm hungry. Can I have some cookies?"
Mom: "Kids who eat all their dinner are welcome to have a snack
after."
Jamie: "But mom I'm really hungry."
Mom: "I know Jamie. I would be hungry too if I ate as little as
you did for dinner, but don't worry I will be fixing a big
breakfast at 7:00 a.m."
Jamie: "What? Do you want me to starve?"
Mom: "I'll be serving breakfast at 7:00 Jamie"
Jamie: "This isn't fair."
Mom: "I'll be serving breakfast at 7:00 Jamie"
Jamie: "Fine!"
TIP: Notice the exceptions. Call attention to the times when
Jamie eats most of her meal. "Wow! Jamie you ate everything on
your plate. Good job. You should be proud of yourself." Too
often, we only notice the negative aspects of our children's
behavior and that is what we reinforce with our attention.
TIP: Cater to Jamie's desire to be "big". " You probably won't
like this halibut Jamie. Usually, adults are the only ones who
like halibut. Guess what may just become Jamie's new favorite
food?
TIP: Provide various choices around meal time. "Would you rather
sit by me or by mommy?" "You can eat with a fork or a spoon
which would you prefer?" "Do you think you will need more
potatoes or is that enough?" "Have as much as you think you will
need to make it to dinner." "Milk or juice?" "Should we eat at
7:00 or 7:30?"
TIP: Be a good role model. "You know dear, although spaghetti is
not my favorite, I will eat it because I know how hard you
worked to make it."
TIP: Exposure. Encourage Jamie to try a variety of foods early
on in her life before she knows any different. Some children may
have never thought liver was gross if it hadn't been for what
someone else had set their expectation to be.
TIP: Let us remember there are some foods that the certain
children can not stomach. If Jamie has a problem with spinach
but it is part of that particular meal, try to have other items
that she can get her fill up on once everyone has their share.
However, this should be the exception rather than the rule.
Try letting Jamie dip her foods in sauces, dressings, syrups or
ketchup. It may make them taste better to her.
TIP: Make mealtime enjoyable. Try to talk about things other
than eating at mealtime. Dinner is a great time to talk to Jamie
about how her day went. During breakfast, you could discuss what
everyone has planned for the day.
Everyone pitching in to help prepare the meal can teach Jamie an
important family value. An added bonus for children is that it
can teach them important thinking skills regarding timing,
measuring, colors, comparisons, counting, and cause and effect.
Be creative in the ways that you dish up Jamie's food. Mold her
mashed potatoes into a volcano, cut her meat or sandwich into
bite sized pieces and poke toothpicks in them, layout veggies in
the shapes of letters or numbers, or use a drop or two of food
coloring to make it more interesting.
TIP: Limit snacking. For children to be hungry enough to eat a
meal they usually need to go two or three hours without food.
However, it is difficult for children to go from noon to 6:00
p.m. without food. A nutritious snack after school should be
fine to get Jamie to dinner still having her appetite.
TIP: Past success. Think back about times when Jamie has ate her
meals. What were you doing? Were you placing a lot of emphasis
on her need to eat her food? What was she doing? What were you
eating? What happened before the meal? These kinds of questions
may help you realize some of the things you or Jamie is already
doing which assist her in becoming a better eater.