Learning To See By Traveling With a Teddy Bear
Learning to see by Traveling With a Teddy Bear
"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by
learning to see an imperfect person perfectly" Sam Keen
This week, I had the pleasure of going to Knoxville to film two
segments with the NBC station. One segment included my daughter.
We had one long 9-hour-day of travel, then a day of filming, and
then a day of travel to return home. She held up like a trooper,
constantly assisting me in every way she could.
Of course, as all travel with children includes, there was a
challenge or two. First, her last molar decided to come loose.
In one hand I held my notes and in the other I held a tube of
Orajel. It was always at the most opportune times that the pain
would come--while juggling four bags through security, five
seconds prior to going live on television--you mothers know how
this works. (And for the non-moms reading - the moral and
message of this column applies to you so keep reading!)
The last challenge of the trip came the day we left. We had
purchased a teddy bear on the way down and Sammy deemed it the
most special bear she had ever had. Every night she tucked it
in, complete with back rub. She searched a name database on the
internet and the bear was named Max Cuddles Arto Bongo Whispers.
When I went to pack, I couldn't put Max Cuddles Arto Bongo
Whispers in a suitcase as he might suffocate. So we left him on
the chair, safely tucked in a blanky as I proceeded to pack our
bags. You can probably guess what happened next. We arrived at
the airport 60 minutes prior to our departure, returned the
rental car, checked in, only to realize Max Cuddles Arto Bongo
Whispers was not with us.
My daughter who had traveled well up to that point, just about
broke down. A companion traveling with us pointed out that worst
case we would be passing the same store on the way back. Needles
to say, my daughter looked at me in horror.
Thinking quickly, I called the hotel to see if the housekeeper
could locate the bear. In five minutes the front desk called me
back assuring me that the housekeeper had looked under the bed
and in the blankets and there was no bear. I disputed this
finding, explaining that we had just left, and the bear was
definitely there. The woman at the front desk said she would go
look and call me back. In another 5 minutes my cell rang. She
had found Max Cuddles Arto Bongo Whispers. I asked her to call a
cab and have the bear raced to our airline terminal. We were now
about 45 minutes away from our departure time, had not yet gone
through security, and the hotel was 20 minutes away.
As our flight drew nearer, our travel companion urged me and
Sammy to go through security saying she would wait for the bear
and if someone was going to miss a flight at least Sammy and I
would travel together. Within minutes of that conversation, a
large mini-van cab arrived with Max Cuddles Arto Bongo Whispers
in the passenger seat. (I imagine he had fun telling people
about his interesting passenger of the day!)
We raced through security (with only one stop for Orajel) and
made it to our gate just as they were doing the final boarding
call.
Later that day, my travel companion re-hashed the morning. She
is a dear friend who has known me for many years--and also knows
my weaknesses well. One of my weaknesses has always been
patience. She paid me a sincere compliment on the patience I had
developed during my 10 years so far as a mother. I explained
that you get a special gene for that at some point during
pregnancy.
As I thought back about the adventure of traveling teddy this
morning, I realized why the story is so special to me, and it
really doesn't have anything to do with patience or motherhood.
What happened when Max Cuddles Arto Bongo Whispers was lost was
that a 10 year old saw this as a tragedy. While you and I know,
it was simply a stuffed bear that will likely end up ragged and
forgotten in a toy chest within a few years, in that moment
Sammy saw the event much differently.
Instead of seeing it through my 31-year-old eyes, and choosing
Fed-Ex service or replacing the bear, I saw it through her eyes.
And then I used the resources I had to help.
We all come to our lives with our set of experiences and they
become a lens through which we see our daily activities. Living
fully involves removing our "lenses" and trying on the lenses of
those whom we care for. Doing this is an exercise in
self-growth, in pushing our comfort zone, in seeing past the
writing on the wall to a new world from a different vantage
point. Then we can combine our resources with those whom we care
for, stretch our thinking, stretch our vision, and truly find
the magic that lies within a moment.
Your Challenge: This week make a focused effort to see things
from another person's perspective. This skill takes practice but
it is one that can truly enrich your life. Each day, try to see
something fresh from the eyes of another and see what gifts it
will bring to you.
p.s. And of course, I am sending a thank you to the wonderful
woman at the hotel who helped us. I took a photo of Sammy with
Max Cuddles Arto Bongo Whispers and had her draw a picture to go
with it.
For this kind woman who answered the phone also chose to see
this event through the eyes of a 10-year-old.