Don't let your preschooler get you down
Have you ever seen parents discipline their children in public?
I recently saw a mother spank her child at the bank.
Unfortunately, the mother was treating her little girl like a
punching bag.
The child was probably five or six years old, and was intrigued
by the bank's "Take one!" brochures. When the child took one,
her mother slapped her hand. The girl began crying. She received
another slap. "You be quiet!" the mother growled. The child sat
down on the bank's sofa. She crossed her legs, Indian style.
Oops, her feet touched the sofa. Whack! By the time they marched
out of the bank, that mother had slapped her child at least 20
times.
Was that necessary? I don't think so. Children often make
mistakes because they're immature or don't know better. They're
kids, and they're not as sophisticated as adults. They're also
creatures of wonder and awe.
I can't remember the last time I got excited about getting a
free lollypop at the bank. Candy isn't something that I jump up
and down about. Children are completely different. When the
teller handed that child a lollypop, her eyes sparkled with
delight. Why couldn't that mother be gentle with her daughter,
and loosen up a bit? Being overly strict and rigid was making
both of them miserable.
Watching the parent at the bank made me think about my own
disciplinary style. Do I unintentionally respond to my children
like that mother did-- out of anger, stress and frustration?
I must be patient with my kids, and allow them to make mistakes.
They don't do things on cue. They don't always listen.
Sometimes, they are downright sassy or disobedient. Most of the
time, it's a matter of immaturity. They must learn what it means
to be polite, respectful, self-controlled, and well-behaved.
Most of the time, they're just being children.
Isn't it funny how kids are oblivious to external cues? Any
adult in that little girl's situation would think, "I need to
keep my mouth shut. I better keep a low profile. My Mom is
getting irritated, so I better be as quiet as I possibly can
be."
What seems logical to adults is often oblivious to kids. It's as
remote to them as the planet Mars. Most of the time, they don't
have a clue about the way adults think or feel. It is hard for
them to put themselves in our shoes.
I remember being pregnant with my second child. My belly was so
big that I could hardly see my feet. I felt the baby's little
heels pressing against my abdomen, which made it hard to
breathe. It was a real challenge walking out of the grocery
store with loaded plastic bags and a preschooler in tow. Even
so, my preschooler would ask, "Momma, will you carry me?"
My preschooler, God bless him, was oblivious to the fact that I
was huffing and puffing to make it to the car. The last thing
that I could do is carry him on my hip.
It's times like these that I have to laugh. This is my life, and
it is funny. It is absurd, ridiculous and wonderful. I can't
take myself too seriously. Life is too short for that. As my
eyes roll to the sky, I laugh and smile. I can't let the little
guy get me down. He's just being a child. And I have the
privilege of being his Mom.